Jess's World, Part 8

Jess's World
by Gray Haze

Part 8 - Epilogue

Mom

Jess's mom continued her unabashed love affair with her B&H Menthol 100's.
She couldn't imagine life without her three packs a day, and had no plans
ever to be without them.  She also was an ever encouraging presence in
instilling into her new smoking children the importance of enjoying the
habits to the fullest.  She used the same tack as she did with Jess during
the summer to promote and encourage the growth of Jen's fledging habit.  And
although Jamey was never the prolific smoker that her mother was, she
instilled in her the same motto.

But Jess's father's concerns about her mother's health weren't unfounded.
Years of heavy smoking comes with a cost, and by the mid 1980's some of those
problems started to become apparent.  In 1987 she finally went to see a
doctor about some of her breathing problems.  The doctor diagnosed her
problems as the beginnings of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and told
her that she absolutely had to quit smoking.

Well she quit smoking long enough to walk out from the doctor's office to her
car where she immediately reached for her cigarettes and lit one up.  In
fact, she didn't even try to cut down or anything.  She continued to indulge
in her three packs a day habit like nothing happened.  But emphysema only
gets worse with time and by the time 1990 arrived she was pretty much
confined to her home with the newly installed oxygen machine that she needed
to help her breath.  Finally in 1992 her health turned for the worse, and she
was diagnosed with lung cancer.  She died at the age of 57 three months
later.  Throughout the last years of her life she never once showed regret
about her smoking and continued to encourage her children's smoking.  They,
while watching their mother waste away, started to show doubts in their own
smoking.  She smoked until the day she died.

Dad

Jess's dad continued to enjoy his pack a day of Camel and of course the two
to three cigar he so loved for many more years.  He enjoyed sharing a good
cigar with Jess, and the two indulged themselves together every time Jess
came home from college.  After Jen became old enough, he shared his love for
cigars with her as well.  

He finally quit smoking cigarettes in 1987 hoping to encourage his wife to do
the same, but he still maintained his love for cigars and actually added a
couple more a day to replace the cigarettes.  He retired shortly after his
wife died and spent about half his time traveling the world with his new girl
friend.  They finally married in 1998 and they settled down in a new, smaller
house a few miles away from the house that Jess grew up in.  Today he his 78
years old, and still enjoys stopping by at any one of his daughters home to
share a good cigar.

Jamey

Jamey continued her love affair with her Pall Malls, but never smoked much
more than a pack a day.  Her love of life was very similar do her mothers,
but her restrained smoking style resemble her fathers.  She was stunningly
beautiful as she aged and at the age of 16 she started modeling.  Two years
later she signed an exclusive contract to model and to promote Camel
cigarettes for RJ Reynolds.  They were trying to re-brand Camels to appeal to
a younger generation of smokers and they found her and her ever present
cigarette holder, to be perfect for that job.  She moved to Winston-Salem, NC
soon after and worked for another few years until RJ Reynolds switched course
and decided to let a cartoon figure do the promoting.  All through life she
would joke that she lost her first real job to Joe Camel.

While at RJ Reynolds she met a young talented marketing executive.  The two
got married in 1987 and they settled down to start a family.  Carefree Jamey
turned out to be a little too carefree when it came to birth control and the
two ended up having seven kids, five girls and two boys.  She continued to
model a little on the side, but raising her kids became her main focus.  She
remained really close to Jess and the two families got together often.

Jennifer

Jen was every bit as passionate about her smoking as was Jess.  When school
started, she still managed to maintain her three pack a day habit with the
full encouragement of her mother.  She soon bought a holder just like Jess
and used it often, especially during school days to maintain her habit.  With
help from the holder, she was able to smoke more than half a pack prior to
school, and was able to squeeze another ten during study halls and lunch at
school.  After school she would average five cigarettes an hour to be able to
smoke two packs prior to bed.  Unlike Jess, she never doubted herself as a
heavy smoker because she always aspired to be one, just like mom.

That next summer with Jess home and lots of free time on her hands she fully
indulged heavily in smoking and at 16 years of age, she matched her sister
three carton a week habit.  On her 18th birthday she shared her first cigar
with her father, just like he had promised.

She left for college during the fall of 1982 and studied electrical
engineering and computer science at Georgia Tech in Atlanta.  She was forced
to get her own apartment her second semester because her prolific smoking
became a problem in the dorms.  She graduated Magna Cum Laude in 1986 and the
left for MIT to pursue a doctorate.  In 1990, she started her own software
development firm.  

Stunned by what was happening to her mother, and fearing she was next, Jen
quit smoking cold turkey in the fall of 1990.  She stayed smoke free for
three years, but was miserable the whole time.  She never stopped missing
smoking.  Every time she visited Jess, Jess would smoke as always, telling
Jen how great it was and that life without smoking was life not worth living.
Jen was afraid to admit that she was right, but held out anyway.  Finally she
relented to Jess's constant offer to share a smoke. "I guess it wouldn't hurt
to have just one" she said to Jess as she accepted a light.  But once that
first dose of nicotine hit her system, it was all over.  She immediately
stopped at a convenience store after leaving Jess's house and bought a pack
of B&H Menthol 100's.  At first she tried to limit her smoking to a pack a
day.  But that soon proved futile, and within a month, she was smoking three
cartons a week again.  She resigned herself to her fate, without regret, and
continues to smoke heavily, with great passion, to this day.

Jen got married in 1995, and had two kids.  Her firm really took off and when
she took it public in 1997, the IPO netted her $220 million dollars.  She
retired in 2000 an incredibly wealthy woman at the ripe old age of 35.  Now
41, she spends her time raising her two boys and of course, fully indulging
herself in her love of heavy smoking.

Jill

Soccer season after that summer proved to be an incredible success for Jill.
As a senior in high school, she made All-State and was selected to the
McDonalds High School All American team as a center mid-fielder.  She
received numerous scholarship offers and finally settled on going to Duke,
which was close to their home in Durham, NC.

Her freshmen year, she severally wrecked her knee during the eighth game of
the season, effectively ending her soccer career.  That Thanksgiving knowing
that she would never play soccer again, she convinced Jess to give her one of
her Salem's.  Jess reluctantly gave her one, and soon Jill was smoking
everyday.  But smoking wasn't enough for Jill.  She became terribly depressed
about her injury and began to party and drink heavily.  During her second
semester of her freshman year, she tried cocaine for the first time.  It was
1982, and coke was becoming the rage on campus.  Jill partied heavily for the
next year, and by the second semester of her sophomore year, she was using
coke daily.  That summer, Jess warned her that her partying was getting out
of hand, but she didn't listen.  Addiction ran in the family, and although it
was nicotine with her sister and parents, her addiction soon became cocaine,
indulging in it with the same passion as her mother indulged in her
cigarettes.  With her grades suffering from her partying, Jill dropped out of
Duke in the winter of 1984, and moved to LA.  

Once in LA, she bounced from job to job, never able to keep one very long
because of her coke addiction.  In 1986, broke and desperate for some blow,
she turned to prostitution and began living in the red light district of the
city.  Soon she was on crack as well and her life quickly spiraled out of
control while she turned tricks and took beatings from her pimp.  In 1990 she
tried heroin for the first time, and it wasn't long before that became her
drug of choice.

During her time in LA, she became almost totally removed from the family.
She talked a few times to Jess on the phone, but that was about it.  Somehow
Jess got word to Jill about her mother's death, and Jen wired Jill enough
money for a flight back for the funeral.  Amazingly, Jill didn't blow that
money on her next fix and did make it back.

Everyone was shocked at how bad Jill looked.  She was thin and gray with all
the resemblance of a full blown junkie.  Jess tried to convince Jill to move
back to North Carolina but she refused.  In 1994 Jill over dosed on a bad fix
of heroin, and barely survived.  That stint in the hospital convinced her it
was time to get help.  She called Jess later that week crying, saying she
needed help, as blood dripped from her arm after giving herself a fix.  Jess
and Jen flew out to LA, and immediately got her checked in to a 6 month drug
rehab center.  Jen, already being quite well off, with help from her father,
paid the entire $70,000 bill in advance.

In rehab, Jill started smoking again, and soon was up to a pack a day of
Salem 100's, the same brand that Jess so loved.  Rehab was difficult, and
Jill feared that the day she left, she would head back to her old
neighborhood in LA and start right back up again.  Jill was surprised to see
both Jess and Jen waiting for her as she was discharged from rehab.  They
kept in constant contact with the rehab center and knew that a good share of
the people quickly regressed afterwards.  They came to take her back to North
Carolina, and they weren't leaving until she agreed.  Jill was thrilled to
see them and they all hugged and cried when they first saw each other.  Jill
gratefully accepted the invitation to move back to North Carolina and to live
with Jess.  She even agreed not to go back to LA to pick up her meager
belongings.  Jen told her that anything she needed, she would make sure she
had.

As they walked out of the rehab center, Jen and Jess immediately lit up
cigarettes.  They were surprised to see Jill do the same.

"Oh, you started smoking again Jill," Jess said while exhaling her smoke.

"Yeah, after ten years without smoking, I decided to replace one addiction
for another I guess," Jill replied while smiling.

"Well, welcome to our club, Jill," Jen said while laughing.

Once back in Durham, Jill quickly settled in to continue her slow recovery
post rehab.  She immediately started attending local AA meetings like was
recommended at rehab.  She found this to be enormously helpful.  

Living with Jess turned out to be great.  Although the two were quite
competitive as kids, they quickly developed a close friendship now that Jill
lived with Jess.  Jill wasn't ready to start working again, so she would hang
out with Jess, lounge out at her pool, and help out with the housework and
with the kids.  While in rehab, Jill developed about a pack a day habit.  She
enjoyed smoking and found it relaxing while she went through the tough parts
of withdrawal at rehab.  But now spending so much time with Jill made her
smoke more.  Jill always knew that Jess was a heavy smoker, but seeing her
light up every ten minutes was something to behold.  Jess also encouraged
Jill repeatedly asking her to smoke with her and always talked about how
great her cigarettes were.  It wasn't long before Jill started lighting up
almost every time Jess did, and within six months, she was smoking three
packs a day.  Jess also introduced her to cigars and holders, and constantly
talked about her love of smoking multiples.  

Jill soon noticed that the more she smoked, the more she liked it.  Feeding
her ever growing cravings for nicotine made for a good substitute for feeding
her drug addiction.  After about a year, Jill felt confident enough to get on
with her life.

She re-enrolled at Duke and found that her full ride soccer scholarship was
good for life, and was able to go for free.  After two years she completed
all her required courses for a degree in sociology.  After graduating she got
a counseling job at a local drug rehab clinic, and used her education and
experience to help others.  In the year 2000, at the age of 37, Jill finally
got married.  They decided not to have any kids, and after a long tough road,
Jill found great happiness in her husband, her job, sisters and of course,
her smoking.

Jess

During her junior year a Penn State she continued to smoke every chance she
got.  Times in classes were tough, but she made up for it by smoking even
more often when she wasn't there.  Another aspect of her smoking that she was
enjoying more completely than ever was smoking during sex.  Masturbation
while smoking was becoming almost a daily routine for Jess, that is until she
started dating boys again.  Soon she found that real intercourse with a male
while smoking was even better.  At first it was the occasional three week
boyfriend, then an occasional one night stand with someone she met at a bar.
But by the second semester, she was hooking up two, sometimes three times a
week with the sole purpose of getting laid while filling her lungs with dense
smoke.  

She used her incredible smoking to lure eager boys in, and then wowed them in
the bedroom, cigarette dangling from her lips the whole time.  She found that
for a lot of them, smoking was a big turn on, and she obliged them
completely.  Most boys were in awe first thing in the morning, watching Jess
cough up a lung, and then immediately load up her holder with Pall Malls and
smoke them like there was no tomorrow.  Followed by another intense
passionate sex session with smoke continuously pouring out of her nose.  Few
boys had ever experienced anything like it.

She graduated from college with a degree in marketing, and started working as
a regional sales rep. for the same company her father worked for.  The job
was perfect for Jess.  Her office was out of her apartment, and with being on
the road constantly, she was able to continue to smoke heavily without many
restriction she would have working in an office.  

Working with potential costumers also provided her an opportunity to continue
her love of sex and smoking.  She would take them out to dinner, wow them
with her impressive smoking, and usually lure them into the bedroom for a
night that they wouldn't forget.  Married or not, it didn't matter to Jess.
She just wanted some dick in her cunt and smoke in her lungs.  What was
really impressive was when Jess would smoke a big cigar during sex.  These
big wigs couldn't believe how this petite young woman was able to inhale huge
amounts of very strong cigar smoke without any effort.  Jess also found
another benefit of having sex with customers.  It usually followed the next
day with a big sales contract and another night filled with smoky sex to
celebrate the new contract.

She did this for two years, making boat loads of money, until unexpectedly,
she fell in love with a bright, young up and coming purchasing manager that
she was instantly attracted to.  Unlike most of the rest, he refused her
advances, declined to sign a contract, but instead asked out for dinner and
movie later that week.  He was a great listener, funny and quick with a light
so Jess could indulge herself with her constant smoking.  After a year of
courtship, they got married July of 1985, and became Mr. and Mrs. James
Riley.  Within a year their first daughter was born.

Her new husband didn't smoke; maybe an occasional cigar with Jess or her
father, but he never nagged her about her smoking.  If anything, he
encouraged it.  He found it sexy, and loved spending hours in bed making love
with Jess while she smoked the whole time.  Jess continued her heavy smoking
with reckless abandon, not even stopping while pregnant with her five
daughters.  She quit her job soon after her first daughter, Terry, was born.
Being home with the kids allowed her to bring her smoking to even greater
heights.  Soon she went from three cartons a week to four, plus another 20
cigars a week to boot.  Her cravings became constant, and feeding them
required her to light up every ten minutes with great pleasure.  Often times
during the day she would pull out her holder to juice up on a couple of Pall
Malls to really kick the cravings down.  She also got up every night to
smoke, loading up her holder two times, before going back to sleep.  She had
no problem at all letting her husband sleep while the babies needed to be fed
in the middle of the night.  The babies weren't the only ones who needed
feeding, and she would breast feed while her holder full of Pall Malls
dangled from her lips.  

Watching her mother waste away starting in 1990 made Jess get real nervous
about herself.  Her mother was dying after 40 years of three packs a day
smoking, and Jess was now smoking almost twice that.  She couldn't possibly
continue smoking like this without suffering the same consequences, and she
knew it.  Jess had been only smoking for twelve years, and in those twelve
years, she managed to smoke as much as most people smoked in a lifetime!  Her
persistent cough was a consistent remainder of what she was doing to her
lungs.  Her morning time hack was particularly bad.  It had grown worse over
the last few years, something that before her mother got sick, Jess just
brushed off as a minor annoyance to the ultimate pleasure she was getting
from smoking.  But now seeing her mother made her realize that it was time to
quit, something she dreaded terribly.

Jen had just recently quit and now pregnant with twins, Jess decided it was
time also.  She had planned it well.  Made sure her last cigarettes were
gone, when that date hit, she was ready, and with encouragement from Jen, she
was confident.  But it was a disaster.  The withdrawal was much worse than
she anticipated.  She held out for days waiting for things to get easier, but
they got worse.  Finally on the fifth day, she broke down and cried.  She was
miserable.  But it wasn't only the pain of withdrawal, but she desperately
missed everything about smoking, especially the sex.  It was no use, so she
headed to the store, bought 3 cartons of Salem's, 1 carton of Pall Mall and
three dozen cigars.  Once she left the store she immediately lit up a Salem.
The feeling was immense.  As she looked down at her cigarette she started to
cry feeling awful about her failed attempt.

Her quilt was terrible, but she was powerless to do anything about it now.
Here she was, visiting her mother and smoking regardless.  She couldn't
refrain even in her presence.  But her mother didn't mind, because she smoked
right along with her, oxygen and all.  When Jess told her of her failed
attempt to quit and how guilty she felt, her mother laughed and told her not
to be silly.  "Remember, we were born to smoke like chimneys.  Life isn't
worth living without or cigarettes.  So stop beating yourself up over it.
I'm dying and I'm not beating myself up.  I have no regrets and if I had to
live my life over again, it would definitely be as a smoker.  No question
about that."

Jess knew that her mother was right.  She was a born smoker, and life wasn't
worth living without her cigarettes.  From that point on, Jess never doubted
her smoking again.  She knew her life was going to be shorter, but every time
she deeply inhaled the nicotine rich smoke into her lungs, she knew it was
worth it.

After her mother died, life got quickly back to normal.  She centered her
life around four things, her husband, her children, her sisters and of course
her smoking.  She stopped worrying about the bad effects that smoking had on
her and only concentrated on maximizing the pleasure.  Her husband treated
Jess like a princess, and their sex life was incredible.  Even after watching
his mother-in-law die from smoking, he never said a thing about Jess's
smoking.  He knew that Jess was a committed smoker.  That he never doubted.
When Jess tried to quit, he knew that it was futile.  So he figured why nag
her about something that was an integral part of her life.  Jess without
smoking wasn't the Jess he fell in love with. 

Her sisters would take a large amount of her time over the next few years
after her mother's death.  First there was Jen.  After she quit smoking, she
became a totally different person.  Gone was the quiet confident Jen that she
loved.  In her place was a total bitch.  Every time she got together with
Jen, she would complain.  Jen would often tell her how much she missed
smoking, and would often tell Jess how she would kill for a cigarette.  But
Jen was stubborn, and she hated to admit defeat.  Jess knew that she needed,
and did every thing she could to get her back to smoking.  So when Jess
handed her that one cigarette, she knew that that she had succeeded.  A month
later Jen thanked her for her efforts. 

But nothing consumed Jess more than the problems with Jill.  Jess knew that
Jill had major problems for quite some time.  But nothing prepared her for
seeing Jill at her mother's funeral.  Seeing her thin, gray with gaunt eyes
and stoned broke her heart.  She begged Jill to stay in North Carolina, but
when she refused all Jess could do was break down and cry.  Finally, when
Jill called her with her cry for help, Jess was relieved to be able to help.
The year and a half after rehab that Jill lived with Jess brought the two
sisters very close together.  Getting her to fully recover from a decade of
drug abuse was the primary goal of Jess.  But that wasn't her only goal.
Jill was now smoking, but with no passion.  Without her mother around anymore
to teach her how to maximize the pleasure of smoking, Jess was more then
willing to take on that role.  Besides, Jess figured that if Jill learned to
love smoking as much as she did, then maybe she would't need the drugs
anymore.  Her goal was to replace one destructive drug for another less
destructive one, so her reasoning went.  She was confident that she'd obtain
her goal.  Jess appetite for drugs probably meant that she had many of the
same genes as her mother.

Jill's plan was simple: constantly reinforce how great heavy smoking was,
teach her the basics of fully maximizing every cigarette, encourage her to
smoke more to increase her cravings for nicotine, and then finish her by
maximizing the smoking experience.  So as soon as Jill arrived, Jess began
telling how great her smoking life was, explaining to her why she smoked so
much, and how it enhanced her life.  While constantly reinforcing her
smoking, Jess then turned to improving her technique: guiding her through the
ritual of taking bigger, cheek hollowing drags, deepening her inhales, and
reducing the speed that she exhaled.  Once she mastered that, then Jill
worked on increasing her consumption,  slowly increasing the number of times
a day that she would offer or ask her to share a cigarette.  It worked like a
charm.  Within six months, Jill took her weak wimpy less than a pack a day
habit, to a full blown heavy three packs a day.  Once there, Jill then in
introduced her to joys of cigars, multiples and finally even told her how
good smoking and sex was.  

To this day Jess considers Jill graduating from college her happiest, most
joyous moment.  When Jill hugged and thanked her for everything, Jess said
thank you.  When she pointed to her burning cigarette and thanked her
especially for teaching her the joys of smoking, Jess cried.

The sister that Jess was closest to was her little sister Jamey.  The two
were always close while growing up and that continued throughout their adult
lives.  Jess spent many years getting Jamey to maximize her smoking
experience, but Jamey would have none of it.  She "liked her smoking habit
just fine, thank you very much".  Although they lived about an hour apart
from each other, they got together at least once a week.  It was a riot when
Jamey dragged her seven kids over to go swimming with Jess's five.  

Jess was finally able to get Jamey into cigars like she was, so every get
together usually included a cigar.  And finally, the two always liked sharing
that well used pitch fork holder.  That is, until Jess purchased a three
cigarette holder in 1998.  They both found that one to be the ultimate.

Jess had five children, all daughters.  The first, Terry was born in 1986,
followed two years later by Debbie.  In 1990 she had twins, Sarah and Sammy.
Finally, in 1993 she rounded out the pack with Jamey, named after her
favorite sister.  They were the pride of her life and she dedicated herself
to there every need and happiness.  Her greatest desire was for them to grow
up loving life ever bit as much as should loved it.  

The one thing, other than her family, that Jess loved most was smoking.  To
Jess, how could she not raise them to love life without instilling into them
her love of smoking.  So she never attempted to discourage them in the least
bit.  She smoked with joy and passion for all of them to see and always
commented "how great this cigarette tastes", "nothing like an after diner
smoke", "I can't imagine life without my cigarette," or her favorite, "God I
love these things."  The list could go on and on.  So it was no surprise to
her at all when Terry started smoking at the age of 15.  She always figured
that some if not all of her daughters would start smoking, and she wasn't
about to discourage it in the least bit.  A week later after watching how
accepting mom was of Terry's smoking, a 13 year old Debbie felt comfortable
coming clean about her own smoking.  Both twins were smoking at the age of 15
and finally the youngest Jamey started at 13.

Once her children made their own decision about smoking, with subtle prodding
from their mother, Jess helped them develop their love of smoking much like
her mother did for her and she did for Jill.  Her philosophy was "If you're
going to smoke, you might as well enjoy it to the max".  Jess lived by that
philosophy, Jen lived by that philosophy, Jill lived by that philosophy and
Jamey lived by that philosophy.  Jess made sure that her children did as
well.

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