Kimmy's Story | |
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Kimmy's Story smkr75@aol.com "Suzy, are you sure you have the phone numbers for all or our hotel's, Dr. Jones, fire department and the Police?" Mrs. Edwards asked. "Yes, Mom, I have them all for the tenth time, you and dad need to leave if you are going to make the flight to Paris, this year," Suzy replied. "Don't forget Kimmy, Suzy's in charge while we are gone. Grandma will stop every couple of days but you mind Suzy," Mrs. Edwards said. "Yes, Mom, I will," Kimmy replied. Suzy and Kimmy helped grab the bags and carry them out to the car. "Goodbye Dad, goodbye Mom," the two girls called as the car pulled out of the driveway. Mr. and Mrs. Edwards were departing on a 6 week European vacation. They felt it was the last trip they would be able to take for a while. Suzy had just graduated from high school and would be leaving in two months for Cal Berkeley. Kimmy had just finished her freshman year at Stanford High School. The girls headed back inside. Once entering the kitchen, Suzy stopped at the kitchen table, grabbed her pack of Marlboro 100's and lit up. Suzy had started smoking when she was 16 and was up to a pack and half a day. "Well, Kimmy, its just you and I for the next six weeks. I hope we have some time to spend together with me leaving for college in a couple of months," Suzy replied. "I know it will be tough with my job at Safeway, your job at the mall and well you know Tom and I are pretty close," Suzy said and then took another drag on her Marlboro. "That's OK, with my job at the mall, I won't have much time either," Kimmy replied. The following week went well for Kimmy and Suzy. When Kimmy got home from work on Thursday, she found Suzy in the kitchen talking on the phone. "Yeah, Debbie, that would be great, see you girls about 7:30 on Friday," Suzy said. "What's up Suzy?" Kimmy asked. "You are going to half to find dinner for yourself tomorrow, I going over to Debbie's with some of my friends." Suzy replied lighting up her Marlboro 100. "I haven't got anything to do tomorrow night, can I go with you?" Kimmy asked. "I don't know Kimmy, you know that all my girlfriends smoke and you don't. It gets pretty thick over at Deb's. I wouldn't want you to choke or anything," Suzy laughed. Kimmy had been giving a lot of thought to smoking lately. Two of the older girls that worked with Kimmy at the mall both smoked. They hung out together during breaks and smoking seemed to be part of their fun. Since both of Kimmy's parents smoked as well as her sister, smoking wasn't much of a controversy as Kimmy grew up. In the back of mind, Kimmy had rejected most of the anti-smoking rhetoric that school had put out. She knew that her parents and sister weren't bad people because they smoked. Kimmy knew that at some point, she too would probably become a smoker. "Well Suzy, I could always start smoking too," Kimmy softly said. Suzy took a puff of her cigarette and thought for a moment. Suzy had not really started smoking until she was 16. Kimmy was only 14 but kids were starting to smoke younger every day. Suzy thought that it might be cool to teach her sister to smoke. "Are you sure you really want to smoke. It is really easy to start but really hard to stop," Suzy replied. "Well, you smoke, Mom and Dad smoke. Most of your friends smoke and lot of girls my age smoke. So why not me, too," Kimmy replied. "Yeah, why not," Suzy thought to herself. Suzy reached over and grabbed her pack of Marlboro 100's. She took one out and lit it off the butt of her nearly finished cigarette. Suzy took a deep drag and handed the cigarette to Kimmy. Kimmy took the cigarette and awkwardly held it in her hand. "Suck on it like a straw until you feel the smoke in your mouth," Suzy instructed her younger sister. Kimmy took the cigarette and held it to her lips. She sucked on it gently. She noticed the end begin to glow more brightly and felt the rich bitter taste from the Marlboro in her mouth. She quickly took the cigarette away from her mouth and blew a small cloud of smoke from her mouth. "That wasn't so bad," Kimmy said. "OK sis, try again, only this time suck a little harder to get more smoke in your mouth," Suzy told her. Kimmy again held the cigarette to her lips and sucked a little harder. This time as she opened her mouth to exhale the smoke, she inhaled slightly. Kimmy immediately started coughing as the smoke entered her throat and lungs. "Her, Kim, take a sip of water," Suzy said as she handed the glass of water to her sister. "What did I do wrong, Suzy, you and mom don't cough like that when you smoke?" Kimmy asked. "Well you inhaled some smoke and you weren't ready for it. You can quit now if you want." Suzy said somewhat hoping that this would be enough for her sister. "No, I think I'm ready to try again," Kimmy replied. "Ok, you asked for it. Watch how I do this, I want you to try it just like me," Suzy said. Suzy took a small puff from her cigarette. She opened her mouth and sucked the white ball of smoke down her throat and into her lungs. She held it for about 3 seconds and then exhaled. Kimmy nervously took her cigarette from the ashtray. She took a small puff and just as her sister had shown her, sucked the puff into her young lungs. Kimmy fought off the urge to cough and exhaled slowly. A thin stream of smoke came from her mouth. At the same time, she felt the first jolt from the nicotine pulsing through her body. "That was much better, Kimmy. How do you feel?" Suzy asked. "I feel a little funny, you know, kind of tingly and a little dizzy," Kimmy replied. "That's the nicotine from the smoke. You have to get used to the smoke in your lungs and your body has to adjust to the nicotine. You can stop now if you want," Suzy said. "No, I think I will try a couple of more puffs." Kimmy replied. Kimmy tried a couple of more puffs just inhaling a little bit of smoke with each puff. The effect of the nicotine grew stronger with each puff until Kimmy was quite dizzy and finally put the cigarette out in the ashtray. In spite of her dizziness, Kimmy knew this was something she could grow to like. There was something that was exciting about the mechanics of smoking. Maybe it was the glow of the tip of her cigarette as she drew the smoke into her mouth, or the taste of the smoke in her mouth, or the feeling of the smoke in her lungs. Kimmy wasn't quite sure what it was. "That wasn't so bad," she said. "Well, I think that it is enough for now. These Marlboro 100's are pretty strong for a beginner, you may want to try something lighter until you are more used to smoking," Suzy said. Kimmy didn't feel like trying another cigarette just then. She hadn't given up on smoking yet, but she had had enough for the first time. Kimmy's next opportunity to smoke came the next day at work. Kimmy saw Janet and Cindy getting ready to go on their break. Kimmy asked them if she could join them and they agreed. Once outside the mall, Janet lit up a Newport 100 and Cindy a Marlboro Light 100. "Cindy, could I bum a cigarette from you?" Kimmy asked Cindy. "I didn't know you smoked Kimmy. When did you start?" Cindy asked. "Well, I've been smoking for a while now," Kimmy replied thinking that it was a little bit of an exaggeration. "Sure, no problem," Cindy replied and handed Kimmy a cigarette and her lighter. Kimmy put the Marlboro Light in her mouth and lit the lighter. Remembering her experience from last night, she gently sucked on the cigarette until she had it lit. She didn't try to inhale and blew the smoke from her mouth. The taste was not nearly as strong as her sister's Marlboro 100, in fact, she liked it. Steeling herself, Kimmy took a bigger puff, held the smoke in her mouth momentarily, and then inhaled. She only felt a slight urge to cough, much less than last night. She slowly exhaled and was again thrilled at the sight of the smoke streaming from her mouth. She also began to feel the tingle of the nicotine in her body. She took another puff and again inhaled. This time she did not feel an urge to cough at all. "Hey, this is not so bad at all," she thought to herself. Kimmy finished the cigarette with no difficulty, in fact, she began to enjoy the buzz that the nicotine level in the Marlboro Light 100 gave her. "I could definitely get used to this," she thought to herself. Kimmy did not have a chance to smoke again while at work that day. When Kimmy got home from work that day, she remembered that she was going to go with her sister to Deb's house that evening. She also remembered her sisters comments about everyone at Deb's smoking. She would smoke too, after all she thought to herself, "I am a smoker now too." Kimmy picked up the phone and called her sister at work. "Hi sis, could you do me a favor before you come home tonight?" "Sure, Kimmy, what's up?" her sister replied. "Well, uh, could you pick me up a couple of packs of Marlboro Light 100's, please?" Kimmy softly asked. Suzy thought for a moment, then she remembered Kimmy smoking with her last night. "Kimmy, you're not old enough to smoke, after all, you are only 14," Suzy chuckled. Suzy then heard Kimmy take a breath like she was going to go into a long speech or something. "It's OK Kimmy, I was just kidding you. After all, I did give you your first cigarette didn't I. I'll pick them up for you. You will have to pay me for them though," Suzy laughingly replied. "Gee, thanks Suzy, I was wondering what was going on with you. I'll see you in a half an hour," Kimmy replied. Kimmy could hardly wait for her sister to get home. She wanted to show Suzy that she could now smoke with ease. When Suzy walked in the door, she found Kimmy sitting at the kitchen table with a clean ashtray sitting in front of her. "Here you go sis, I guess I am now guilty of contributing to your habit," Suzy said as she handed over the two packs of Marlboro Light 100's. She also handed her a Bic lighter that she had picked up for her. "That will be $4.75," she said. "Thanks a lot Suzy. I really appreciate it," Kimmy replied as she picked up her first pack of cigarettes. She studied the pack momentarily. Kimmy knew that it would be the first of many in the years to come. She quickly removed the cellophane wrapper and foil. Kimmy drew out one of the long white cigarettes and put it up to her lips. Reaching out for the lighter, she confidently lit it and held it up to the end of the cigarette. Drawing in gently, she soon felt the smoke in her mouth. Opening her mouth slightly, she dragged the smoke into her lungs, welcoming the smoke into her body. It was the same feeling that she remembered from mall earlier that day. Kimmy sighed as she exhaled, the pleasure of the first puff washing over her. She quickly took a second puff, pulling as much smoke as she could into her mouth before she inhaled deeply. Kimmy was thrilled with the experience of smoking. She liked to see the glow on the tip of the cigarette as she pulled the smoke into her mouth. Then there was the exhilaration of inhaling the smoke into her lungs. She just loved the feeling as she exhaled a cloud of smoke into the air. "Well, you certainly are enjoying that cigarette Kimmy. Last night I wasn't sure if you would enjoy smoking. You seem to like those Marlboro Light 100's," Suzy said. "Yes, I tried one of these at work today, Cindy smokes these. I think your Marlboro 100's were just a little too strong for me to start with. Do you always feel this good when you smoke Suzy?" Kimmy asked. Suzy laughed and replied, "Well sis, when you first start, the jolt from the nicotine hits you pretty hard with each cigarette. Over time, as your body gets used to it, the buzz will fade a little. After a while, once you get addicted to the nicotine, the way you feel will change but I know I really enjoy smoking. It relaxes you and helps me handle the stress. I've been smoking for two years now and I don't regret my decision to smoke." Suzy replied. "How will I know when I'm hooked on smoking?" Kimmy asked as she took another puff. "Oh, you'll know and that's for sure," Suzy laughingly replied. "You will know when the first the you want in the morning and the last thing you want at night is a cigarette," Suzy said. Suzy lit up her own Marlboro 100 and remembered how anxious she had been about her parents finding out about her smoking. "You know Kimmy, if you are going to keep smoking, you are going to have to tell mom and dad when they get back from vacation. You can hide smoking for a while but eventually, they will either find out or you will have to tell them," Suzy said. "How did you tell them about your smoking, Suzy?" Kimmy asked. "Mom, caught me smoking after work one day when she came to pick me up. She was kind of mad at me, but after awhile, she accepted the fact that I smoked. I was 16 then. I don't know how she and dad will feel about you, after all you are only 14," Suzy replied. Kimmy thought about that for a few seconds and then said, "Well, if I'm still smoking when they get back, I'll figure something out," Kimmy replied and then took a last drag of her cigarette. "Kimmy, lets get changed and head over to Deb's house." The two girls quickly showered and changed into clean clothes. As they came downstairs to head out the door, Suzy said, "Don't forget your cigarettes Kimmy, I don't want you to be bumming smokes from me all night." "Oh you can bet I won't, after all, I'm a smoker now," Kimmy chuckled. Once they were in the car, Suzy said, "Reach in my purse and light me a cigarette Kimmy." "Sure sis, no problem," Kimmy replied. She reached into Suzy's purse and pulled out a Marlboro 100. She reached over and pushed in the lighter. In a moment, it popped out. Kimmy took the lighter and quickly lit the Marlboro 100. Although she didn't cough this time, she still thought that it was way too strong for her. "Why did you choose to smoke these Marlboro 100's?" Kimmy asked as she handed the lit cigarette to Suzy. "I don't know, when I started, I smoked Benson & Hedges Menthol Lights like Mom. After a while, I wanted to try some other brands. I tried several different brands, Salem 100's, Camel Filters, Saratoga 120's and I even tried Pall Malls but I guess I came to like these the best," Suzy replied and then took a deep drag, as she exhaled she continued, "you will probably do the same once you are more used to smoking. Every new smoker I know goes through that. It's just a matter of individual taste. You should smoke whatever brand you are comfortable with." Kimmy thought for a moment and then said, "I guess that makes sense." Kimmy was even a little bit excited at the thought of trying different brands. After all, there were so many that she could try. "You know Kimmy, you can smoke in my car if you want," Suzy said exhaling another puff on her Marlboro 100. "I don't know. I guess I'm still a little nervous about being seen smoking," Kimmy replied quietly. "Well, I know Mom and Dad won't see you. But maybe some cute guys might. You know, there are some guys who really get turned on by girls smoking," Suzy replied. "Well, I'm all in favor of cute guys," Kimmy said. She reached into her purse, pulled out her pack and lit up. The girls soon arrived and there were already several other car's parked in the driveway. Kimmy quickly put her cigarette out in the cars ashtray. Walking into the house, they were greeted by Deb's Mother, Alicia. "Hello Suzy its good to see you again, and you must be Kimmy," Alicia said. "Hi, Mrs. Ames, where's Debbie?" Suzy replied. "Go on out back, all the girls are out on the patio," Mrs. Ames said pointing out the back door. Walking outside, Suzy and Kimmy found a group of 5 girls laughing and drinking soda sitting around the patio table. Besides Debbie, there was Debbie's 13 year old sister Shauna, Stephanie, Maria and Becky. Kimmy noticed several ashtrays on the table that were already being filled with butts. In front of each girl was a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. Kimmy was especially surprised to see a pack of Newport 100's in front of Shauna, after all Shauna was only going to be a freshman in high school this year. Kimmy was even more surprised when Shauna reached out and lit up one of the Newport 100's. Shauna inhaled deeply and exhaled a thick gray cloud of smoke, obviously not a novices' puff. Suzy sat next to Stephanie while Kimmy took the seat next to Shauna. Pulling out her Marlboro Light 100's Kimmy lit up. "Kimmy, so you're smoking now huh?" Shauna asked in a husky voice and then held the Newport to her lips and dragged for what seemed like forever to Kimmy. "Yeah, I just started. My sister taught me. I didn't know you smoked Shauna, how long have you been smoking?" Kimmy asked. "It seems like forever. I stole a cigarette from Mom when I was 9 and I guess I started to smoke regularly when I was 11," Shauna replied. "What do your parent's think?" Kimmy asked somewhat startled at this revelation. "Well, Mom couldn't believe it at first. She made me smoke a whole cigarette in front of her, I guess she thought I would get sick. Not a chance. I was smoking a half a pack a day by then. After that it was no big deal. She smokes two packs a day, my dad at least a pack and Debbie had smoked since she was 14 so I guess they figured that it was inevitable. After all, if you believe the statistics, 3000 kids start smoking each day, and it was my day. I'm up to almost two packs a day now on weekends but it was tough during the school year at junior high. I'm sure it will be easier this year now that I'm in high school," Shauna replied. "Wow, that is so cool. Your Mom lets you smoke at home. I hope my Mom and Dad are that nice about my smoking," Kimmy said. Thinking to herself, maybe telling Mom won't be so bad. Throughout the rest of the evening, Kimmy had a chance to watch the other girls smoking. Kimmy couldn't keep up with their smoking pace, after all, they were all veterans. Each girl had her own smoking style and brand. Shauna's sister Debbie smoked Winston 100's. Debbie liked to let her cigarette dangle from her lips. Stephanie smoked Pall Mall's. Stephanie liked to French inhale and the thick rich smoke from the unfiltered Pall Mall's clearly showed as she did each inhale. Maria smoked Virginia Slim 120's and was very elegant in her smoking. Each of her inhales was petite. Becky smoked Salem 100's and was chaining from one to another constantly. Smoke always seemed to be streaming from her mouth as she talked. Kimmy did manage to smoke 5 cigarettes over the course of the evening. She even tried one of Shauna's Newport 100's. Although she enjoyed the menthol taste of the Newport, she found they were still a little too strong for her. Kimmy was still a little nervous about being seen smoking by adults. At one point during the evening, Mrs. Ames came out and joined the girls. Kimmy quickly hid her cigarette under the table so Mrs. Ames wouldn't see her. "Shauna, could I borrow a pack of cigarettes from you until I can get to the store tomorrow?" Mrs. Ames asked Shauna as she took one of her Newport 100's and lit up. "Sure Mom, the carton is in my top dresser drawer," Shauna replied as she exhaled another puff of her own Newport. Over the next several weeks, Kimmy smoking habit really began to take off. Kimmy was soon smoking a half to three quarters of a pack a day. She asked Suzy to buy her a pack every other day to keep up with her need. Kimmy's inhales were becoming deeper and longer as evidenced by the darker filters of her cigarettes when she finished them. She also began at last to develop the addiction to nicotine that was inevitable for smokers. She no longer was able to smoke just when she wanted to but she began to feel the cravings for a cigarette. Not that Kimmy minded because she was enjoying the pleasures of smoking and was no longer nervous about people seeing her smoke. In fact, during her work breaks, she had noticed a few cute guys staring at her as she smoked. Finally, her parents vacation was coming to an end. They were due back on Friday evening and Kimmy would start back to school on the following Monday. That morning as Kimmy was enjoying a cigarette with her morning coffee, Suzy said to her, "Well Kimmy, Mom and Dad will be back tonight. Are you going to tell them that you are a smoker now?" Kimmy took another puff on her cigarette and said as she exhaled a thick cloud of smoke, "Smoking...I don't know what you are talking about." She laughed and then took another drag. "I don't think I'm ready to tell then yet. I'm still a little nervous about that," Kimmy said. "Well, I won't tell them but I'm warning you, at the rate you are smoking now, you won't be able to hide it long," Suzy said. It was a difficult weekend for Kimmy. She had become used to smoking at home. Watching Suzy and her mom smoke around the house with abandon made Kimmy uncomfortable. She was able to sneak a cigarette here and there without being caught. Or so she thought anyway. Kimmy was able to slip over to visit Shauna on Sunday. While there, Kimmy chain smoked four cigarettes. Fortunately, school started on Monday. Kimmy got up early Monday morning. She quickly dressed and hurried out the door. As soon as she was out of sight of the house, she quickly dug into her purse and got out her pack of Marlboro Light 100's. She eagerly lit up and took the biggest puff she could and dragged it deeply into her lungs. She held that puff as long as she could, trying to absorb as much nicotine as possible into her body. Only then did she slowly exhale. "God, I never thought anything could feel so good," she thought to herself. She immediately took another puff again holding the smoke in. Finally, the nicotine was beginning to work its magic. Kimmy managed to squeeze 3 cigarettes in during her walk to school. As soon as she entered the door, Mrs. Bachus, the guidance counselor grabbed her. "Kimmy, I need you to sponsor a new student today," Mrs. Bachus said. "Sure, no problem," Kimmy said with some relief. She thought Mrs. Bachus might have seen her smoking on the way to school. "Kimmy, I would like you to meet Elizabeth Johnson, she's going to be in some of your classes and I just know you two will be good friends," Mrs. Bachus said. Kimmy saw a girl with dressed in blue jeans, plaid blouse and long brown hair in a pony tail. "Hi, I'm Kimmy, and I guess I'm going to be your partner for orientation." "Please call me Liz, I hope we can be good friends," Liz replied. Kimmy thought to herself, "Oh great, I hope she's a smoker and we will just get along fine." The two girls talked for a few minutes about school. Kimmy arranged to meet Liz for lunch in the cafeteria. Kimmy was able to make it through the morning but by lunchtime, she was slipping into the craving that smokers no so well. Fortunately, she was able to slip across the street to the park and have a cigarette before she met Liz for lunch. Kimmy and Liz chatted over lunch. The two girls agreed to meet after school and walk home together. Kimmy met Liz at the entrance to school right after the last class. Walking out the door, they immediately crossed over to the park. Once out of sight of the school, Kimmy reached into her purse and pulled out her pack of Marlboro Light 100's. Kimmy immediately lit up and dragged a big puff into her lungs. As she exhaled, she said, "Oh, I'm sorry Liz, would you like one?" Liz looked at Kimmy and replied, "I've never tried a cigarette before." "You're fifteen and you've never tried a cigarette, here, take a puff," Kimmy said and handed Liz her cigarette. Liz took a small puff and quickly handed the cigarette back. "Well that wasn't so bad was it. You didn't inhale, that's the hard part. Do you want another puff?" Kimmy said taking the cigarette back and dragging another puff. "No it wasn't bad but I don't think I should be smoking," Liz replied. "At least I got her to take a puff. At least she's not one of those hard case anti-smokers," Kimmy thought to herself. The girls continued to chat on the way home. Kimmy had time to smoke another cigarette before the girls parted at Liz's house. The rest of the week passed quickly for Kimmy. She was able to keep her cravings in check by smoking on the way to and from school and sneaking of few while her parents were out. Finally, the weekend rolled around. Suzy was leaving for Cal Berkeley on Sunday. On Saturday night, Suzy came into Kimmy's room. Holding a paper bag behind her, Suzy said, "Well sis, I got you a going away present." Suzy handed the bag over and Kimmy found a carton of Marlboro Light 100's inside. "This ought to hold you for a little while. You know, you really should tell Mom and Dad. You can't sneak around forever," Suzy instructed her. "I know Suzy, but I'm afraid they won't let me smoke," Kimmy replied. "Oh, I think Mom and Dad might surprise you," Suzy replied. Kimmy had a rough time on Sunday. With all the excitement of Suzy's departure, she was unable to get away to have a cigarette. She did have time to give Liz a call. Liz said she had some exciting news that she would tell Kimmy about tomorrow. While they were chatting on the phone, Kimmy thought she heard the click of a lighter and a deep inhale but dismissed the thought. Liz didn't smoke so that couldn't be what she heard. Finally, Suzy departed around 4:00 PM. Kimmy was said that her sister was leaving. Soon after she left, Kimmy grabbed her purse and called to her mom, "I'm going over to the mall for a few minutes, Mom." " That's fine dear, be back by six for dinner," her mother replied. Upon arriving at the mall, Kimmy was able to take a break with Janet and smoke a couple of cigarettes. At least that took care of her cravings for a little while. Upon returning home, Kimmy found her mom sitting at the kitchen table waiting for her. "You know its going to be different without your sister around here." "Yeah, Mom, I'm going to miss her too," Kimmy replied. Kimmy's Mom reached out for her pack of Marlboro 100's but the pack was empty. "Kimmy, can I bum a cigarette from you?" her Mom asked. Without thinking, Kimmy opened her purse and took out her pack of Marlboro Light 100's and held them toward her Mom. Kimmy then realized what she was doing and said, "Oops, how did you know I smoked Mom?" Taking a cigarette from the pack, her Mom laughingly said, "I've known since the day after you started smoking. Suzy felt a little guilty about letting you smoke so she called me and told me about it. I wasn't real thrilled to hear it but your father and I talked it over. If you choose to smoke, there is not a whole lot we can do about it. We could forbid you to smoke at home but I don't think that would stop you now would it?" " No mom, I would continue to smoke but I would feel dishonest about it. Does that mean I can smoke at home now?" Kimmy asked. "Yes dear, you can smoke at home if you want. You are not old enough to buy cigarettes yet so I will buy them for you, but you have a job and you are going to pay for them yourself. That's part of being responsible. If you have the smoking habit, you pay for yourself. Does that sound fair to you?" Kimmy's Mom asked. "Ok, that's fine with me," Kimmy replied. "Here, let's have a cigarette," Kimmy's Mom said handing the pack back to Kimmy. Kimmy took out one of her Marlboro Light 100's and accepted a light from her Mom. They both took a drag and the clouds of exhaled smoke mingled as they floated toward the ceiling. "After all, I wouldn't want to be the only smoking woman in the house," her mom laughed and took another puff. |
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