The Girls of Lakewood, Part 3 | |
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Chapter 3: Smokers 2, Quitters 1 After school on Friday the two 9-year-olds headed to Kim's house as usual. During the day Sara had bragged again about how she had sneaked a couple of puffs from her mom's cigarettes the day before, and had started to razz Kim about how she must be afraid to smoke too. Kim just kept quiet, although it was all she could do to hold back, and decided to spring her surprise on Sara that afternoon. They were in the backyard when Kim asked Sara to come to the hiding place with her again. When they got there, Kim told Sara to take a seat on one of the crates because she had something she wanted to show her. She lifted up the other crate and withdrew the jar from under the cover of debris. Sara couldn't see the contents and was stunned when Kim unscrewed the lid, turned to face Sara, and extracted one of her mom's cigarettes and the lighter. "You _have_ been smoking too, haven't you?", Sara exclaimed, breaking into a broad grin. "Oh, Kim, that's so cool! How long have you had all this stuff here?" "Just for a few days," she said in reply. "But I've been practicing. Want to share this one?" "Oh, sure," Sara said eagerly. "Can you light it?" "Yeah, no problem," Kim said, and she proceeded to do just that. Puffing out a small cloud of smoke, she returned the lighter to the jar and screwed down the lid before handing the cigarette to Sara, saying, "Here, have some." Sara took her usual puff and blew it out immediately, then handed the cigarette back to her friend. Kim felt a feeling of superiority as she brought the long cigarette to her lips and took a longer drag than was her custom just to impress Sara. She made sure that Sara was watching her before she opened her mouth slightly and inhaled. She felt the dense puff enter her lungs and the sensations were far more intense than she had previously experienced. "Oh my God, Kim... who showed you how to do that?", Sara exclaimed. "Mom did... well, sort of," Kim said, beginning her exhale. She blew out a long stream of smoke before continuing, "I just watched her and I was able to do it myself. It's way cool. I really like this. You ever try it?", she asked, taking another puff and again filling her lungs with smoke before blowing out most of it, then reinhaling the rest before exhaling a second thin stream. "Uhhh... no," Sara replied quietly, feeling a little less cocky now. "I never really tried to... I think I was afraid it might make me sick. I heard that it could. Did it do that to you?" "Nah... I think I coughed the first time but that was no big deal. Want me to show you how?" Sara thought for a split second. She realized she really couldn't say no, not if it meant having to now put up with Kim giving her the same treatment she'd given her this past week. She was still a little scared of trying it, but she bravely put up a good front. Her heart began to pound more nervously before she said quietly, "OK... sure, I'll try it. Is it hard?" "Not now. I really like it now that I've gotten used to it. I think I'll always smoke this way from now on," she said, trying not to sound too snotty. "Here, take it from me," she directed Sara, who readily did so. "Go ahead, take a puff. But while you do, breathe out through your nose," Kim instructed, and Sara did as she was told. She felt the familiar, cool sensation begin to fill her mouth. "OK, now just open your mouth a little and take a breath in." Sara had followed Kim's instructions a little too well, for she had totally emptied her lungs while pulling on the cigarette and the lack of air, combined with some nervous breathlessness anyway, were causing her lungs to demand a breath right away. She removed the cigarette from her mouth and immediately began a quick, deep, almost involuntary inhale. She felt a strange, heavy sensation engulf her chest, which she soon felt change to a cool feeling as the menthol made itself known. Her heart jumped before she felt she needed to blow it out, and she almost succeeded in exhaling without coughing. About halfway through her exhale, though, she gagged like Kim did at first but coughed just one time before recovering. "Hey, good goin'!", Kim exclaimed, grabbing Sara's hand and taking the cigarette from her. "You did real good, better than I did the first time. How'd you like it?" "Wow, that was neat," Sara said, a smile beginning to grow across her face. "I wish it wouldn't make me cough like that, though." "I bet it won't, the next time," Kim said, beginning another puff of her own. She inhaled quickly and blew out a thick stream after only holding it in a short time. Tapping the ash off the end, she asked Sara, "Ready to try it again?" "Yeah, let me have it," Sara said, reaching for the cigarette. She began another puff and inhaled for the second time. She was able to enjoy the new sensation this time as she felt the smoke flow into her lungs. After a second or two, she realized she needed to blow it out and was fascinated to see a stream start to gradually appear, increasing in density, before again thinning out. "Oh, wow, Kim...," she whispered. She had done it! What's more, it felt fantastic to her, and she began to giggle at her accomplishment. "So, like, you really hate it, huh?", Kim asked with a smile, before they both chimed in, "As if!", and the girls began to laugh hilariously. Kim was able to take the cigarette back from Sara for another drag, and the girls then shared the remainder. By the time it was finished, Sara felt a little shaky but was able to recover quickly, and Kim reassured her that those symptoms would be only temporary and would soon be replaced by a much more enjoyable state. Sara came over again the next day, and once again the girls shared a cigarette, with Sara inhaling every puff this time. Kim explained how she had snuck hers away from Linda, and Sara said she'd try to do the same and add her bounty to their supply. On Sunday after lunch, Sara arrived with 3 of Michelle's cigarettes, and Kim noticed they were thinner than hers. Sara explained that her mom had now started to buy B&H Deluxe Ultra Light Menthols, and they each decided to try one right away. The girls noticed the smoke wasn't as strong as the other kind, but they were each able to finish an entire cigarette, inhaling every puff - a first for Sara - and each enjoyed the experience of smoking with the other, as they mimicked their moms' smoking styles for each other as a sort of game. At suppertime that night Sara phoned and asked if she could come over afterwards, and Kim readily agreed when Sara added that she had something for her. Kim could guess what that might be, but was stunned to see Sara pull a full pack of Michelle's B&Hs out of her backpack when they got to the woods. "Mom bought a new carton of these the other day," Sara explained. "She hasn't been smoking very much for some reason lately, and I didn't think she'd miss these. Let's put them inside Skippy and we can have one whenever we want." "Want to have one first?", Kim suggested, and Sara nodded eagerly. The girls lit up and smoked quietly, as they discussed the possibility of Kim being able to obtain a pack of Linda's Salems. Kim thought she could do that, and agreed to try over the next day or so. As she smoked, for the first time she was enjoying a cigarette not just because it was something illicit, but for its own sake. The girls finished their second cigarette of the day and Sara made her way home not long afterwards. Over the next few months the girls began smoking together a couple of times each day. For Sara that was about the maximum amount of time she could spend in the woods with Kim, although she would still sneak a few puffs at home from one of Michelle's when she had the chance, and now she always inhaled instead of just blowing it out. Sara would periodically bring a new pack of B&Hs over with her, and Kim soon became successful in getting packs of her mom's Salems when she needed to replenish their supply as well. The girls would alternate brands, not really preferring one or the other, and at first only smoking in each other's company. After a couple of weeks, though, Kim began to feel like having one now and then on her own as well. It was easy for her to slip out to the hiding place when the mood struck her, so Kim was able to enjoy a cigarette more often than Sara, and before long she would usually smoke 3 or 4 times a day. Around this time Sara arrived one day with a new pack of B&Hs, and some distressing news. "Mom quit smoking last night," she said as they arrived at their sanctuary. "I got this pack out of the garbage after she threw them out. Her and dad had a big fight about why he won't quit too. He says he won't, so I guess I can get some of his Marlboros. But I like these menthol ones a lot better." Kim responded, "Well, that's OK. I don't think my mom is going to quit, and so you can have some of these when you want a menthol one," she said, gesturing towards the latest pack of Salems she had liberated from her mom. "But if you can, see if you can get some of your dad's, will you? I've never had that kind before." A few days later Linda invited Sara and all of Kim's friends to her daughter's 10th birthday party. Michelle Mackenzie came along to help out. While Linda and Michelle weren't really close friends, their daughters' friendship - which seemed to be much stronger these days, Michelle noticed - brought the two women together from time to time, and they had always been reasonably friendly when they encountered each other around the community. After an hour or so of tending to a dozen kids, Linda needed a respite and said to Michelle, "God, I need a break. Let's go have a cigarette, OK?" Michelle had not smoked for a week or so, and was still fighting her cravings. She had quit by gradually cutting down, and while she was able to tolerate the urges most of the time, under stress it became very difficult to resist the temptation to smoke. For an instant she felt herself weakening, thinking that it wouldn't hurt to have just one, before remembering the comments of her cohorts at the volunteer association when she told them she was giving it up. "Oh, thank God... we were going to speak to you about it," one of them had told her. "It really doesn't fit with the image we were trying to project, and we were going to ask you to consider finding another group to be involved with. Now you can stay." She pondered those words for a second, before finally saying, "No, thanks. I quit last week." "Oh, I didn't know, " Linda replied. "Would it bother you if I had one?" "I'd really rather you didn't smoke around me," Michelle quickly shot back, feeling the strain of the kids' bedlam and her desire for nicotine. It seemed to Linda that her response was a little too sharp, and Linda resented it. She made a face, before heading out on the back deck to smoke. Relations were further strained upon her return when Michelle made a comment about how she was so glad she didn't stink of smoke any more, and felt sorry for people who still had to smoke. To Linda this sounded more than a little insulting and patronizing, and things were icy between them for another hour or so. Finally, Linda suggested that she could handle things from here on out and that there was no need for Michelle to hang around any longer. Checking in with Sara, Michelle asked if she wanted to head back home too, but her daughter wanted to stay a while longer and assured her that she could get home on her own with no problem. As Michelle departed, Linda admitted to herself that she was glad to see her leave, and immediately lit up another Salem. As the party wound down, soon only Sara remained and she helped Linda and Kim clean up. After a while, the girls headed out and told Linda that they were going to hang out in the yard for a while before walking over to Sara's place. Linda told them she would drive them when the time came, since it was getting dark, and the girls agreed to come fetch her when they were ready to leave. The girls headed directly for the woods and as they arrived at their spot, Sara reached into her backpack. "Here's a birthday present for you, Kim," she said, producing a pack of her dad's Marlboro Light 100s. Kim beamed and opened the pack immediately, offering one to Sara, and the girls quickly lit up, the flame illuminating their faces in the gathering darkness. Sara had tasted these before, but it was a first for Kim. She took a puff with a thoughtful look on her face and held it in her mouth for a few seconds before drawing it into her lungs. Holding it for a few seconds, she exhaled a long stream. "Gee... these are different, aren't they?", she observed. "They don't taste like much compared to the others, but they feel almost as strong. And you can really taste the tobacco." Sara nodded before taking a puff of her own. She inhaled quickly, then blew out a dense cloud. "Yeah... I guess that's why daddy likes them," Sara mused. "I heard him say once to mom that guys didn't smoke menthols 'cause they were for girls. I don't know... I think I like the menthols better. Maybe he was right. But I better get used to them, 'cause that's all I'm gonna get at home from now on." As soon as the girls finished their cigarettes, Sara decided she had better go home. As planned, Linda drove her the short distance to her house with Kim coming along for the ride. Like she always did, Linda lit a cigarette as soon as she started the car and smoked during the drive. Linda was still a little upset with Sara's mom about her comments earlier in the day but said nothing, since she didn't have anything against Sara. Sara entered the house as Linda and Kim drove away. While she was hanging up her jacket, Michelle approached her. Her reawakening sense of smell immediately picked up a scent of tobacco smoke, and she asked Sara in an accusatory tone, "Was Linda Petersen smoking in the car when she drove you here?" Sara nodded in the affirmative and witnessed another of her mom's newly frequent displays of short-temperedness as Michelle let loose. "I can't believe the carelessness, the idiocy of that woman! She ought to know better than to smoke in an enclosed space with two children! C'mon, Sara, take off that sweater. It reeks of smoke. I'll wash it tomorrow, and maybe give her a piece of my mind too! And you take a shower before you go to bed tonight. Your hair stinks of it too." In truth, the smoke was probably her own, Sara realized. She had noticed the first time she wore that sweater and smoked that it seemed to retain the scent much more than her other clothes. Sara figured that since it had been only a short time since she had smoked herself that it was her own smoke her mom smelled, since Linda had the car window open during the drive. While brushing her teeth, she thought about calling Kim and tipping her off, but then realized that there was little that Kim could do about it anyway. Nor could she come up with a way to explain it away to her mom by herself. "This could be interesting...," she thought to herself, as her mom continued to grumble as she retrieved the sweater from Sara's room. As promised, the next day Michelle phoned Linda and began to complain about her smoking in Sara's presence. The conversation soon became unpleasant as Linda was still smarting from her treatment the previous day, and after a few minutes Linda hung up in anger. She lit a cigarette and pondered her former friend's bizarre behavior of late. She took a long pull on her Salem as she thought. Could all this be just because she quit smoking herself? She opened her mouth slightly, and sucked the smoke audibly into her lungs. God, Linda thought, shaking her head as she exhaled, if that's the way you get, I better not ever quit. That incident marked the end of any sort of cordiality between the two women. Linda would hear from others in the neighborhood from time to time over the next few months about other displays of Michelle Mackenzie's Jekyll-and-Hyde personality, and eventually wrote her off as some sort of very troubled individual. Despite the tension between their moms, Sara and Kim continued to spend much of their free time together and continued to smoke whenever they could over the next year. Their initial awkwardness in smoking quickly disappeared as they became more experienced and confident in their technique. Over the months, their continued experimentation with smoking allowed them to gradually acquire the habit, but in different ways. For Sara, realistically the only time she could smoke was when she was at Kim's house, since her mom was vigilant at home to the point of even beginning to restrict Bill's own smoking in the house. As a result Sara tended to spend much of her time at the Petersen's, where she could not only use the sanctuary in the trees but could, on occasion, dare to smoke in the house when they were left alone. Sara had started to come over ten minutes earlier on school mornings and she and Kim would leave the house, head around the corner and slip back into the woods to their hiding place by a secondary path through an empty lot to have a cigarette before class. She made the most of her opportunities when she was there, but even at that only had a chance to smoke two or three times a day. In contrast, Kim had an easier time finding opportunities to have a cigarette, and as a result she fell prey to the habit sooner. All she had to do was wander outside when she wished to smoke, plus she had discovered ways to smoke indoors, even when Linda was at home. Since the house was usually filled with the smell of Linda's smoke, the scent wasn't all that noticeable if Kim smoked too. If the weather was inclement, she would use the garage or bathroom when she felt a desire to smoke, and she found it surprisingly easy to sneak a cigarette out of Linda's pack when she wanted one. During the year Kim's daily cigarette intake began to grow slowly, from the 2 or 3 a day she originally started out at, to as many as 6. As she became more accustomed to cigarettes during this period, her style of smoking changed gradually in a few subtle but significant ways. Without consciously trying to, over time Kim began to take longer and more frequent puffs on each cigarette and she was inhaling each of them more deeply than when she first started. This was giving her much more nicotine than just a few months previously, and as she continued in this manner her body began to first welcome, then demand, the higher levels on a continuous basis. Kim still didn't really know what a craving was, but she did know that she was thinking about smoking more often and would now almost never pass up the chance to smoke, even if it meant risking getting caught by her mom. She knew that when she saw Linda smoke now, the sight made her feel like smoking herself. She would watch her mom with a combination of appreciation and envy as she savored her long, deep puffs, and Kim would constantly need to resist the temptation to have one herself. A few months after Kim's eleventh birthday, Linda and her were at home on a Saturday with Hal having gone away on a fishing weekend with his buddies. As it almost always did when he went fishing, it was raining and the forecast for the rest of the day wasn't promising. Around 11:00AM, Linda decided to head to the supermarket and run a few errands on the way, and she made her way towards the inside entrance to the garage. Kim was in the family room flipping through a comic book when Linda called to her, "Honey, I'm going to the market. Want to come along?" Kim looked up. As she now did almost by reflex, she scanned the room and saw Linda's Salems and lighter resting on the counter in the breakfast nook. She realized immediately that her mom, by now standing in the doorway to the garage, was not going to take those with her, and she knew that she would be able to smoke herself if she stayed home. She had one in the bathroom this morning about 8 o'clock when she had gotten up but hadn't had one since and was beginning to feel the desire to smoke again. Great, she thought, I won't have to go out in the rain, I'll just have one of those in here. Kim responded instantly, "That's OK, mom... can I stay here? I think Sara might be coming over." "OK, honey... I should be gone an hour or so. Be careful, now. Bye," Linda said, heading into the garage. Kim heard the car start, the garage door open, and the sound of the car gradually disappear. Her heart began to beat faster as she got up off the sofa and walked towards the breakfast nook. Even though she had been smoking for over a year and a half now, she still got nervous about smoking in the house. Yet the risk of getting caught seemed to add to the thrill and enjoyment she felt when she smoked, and the illicit pleasure was something she now had come to look forward to. Quickly, she picked up the lighter and shook loose one of the Salems from Linda's pack. Extracting it carefully, she placed it between her lips and flicked the lighter to life. She lit the cigarette casually, experienced in the practice by now, and puffed out a small cloud of smoke. She then began a long, appreciative pull before withdrawing the Salem from between her lips and inhaling the cool smoke deep into her lungs. She had become so accustomed to inhaling by now that it had become automatic, something she no longer even thought about. Turning away from the counter, she began to exhale as she wandered over to the patio doors overlooking the backyard and opened one a bit to let the smoke escape, then stood there taking in the view as she began another puff. Linda had just started to pull away from the driveway when she reached into her purse for her cigarettes. She had gotten to the end of the block before realizing they weren't there. She then remembered she had left them on the counter in the breakfast nook, and shook her head with a frown. "Jesus, you'd forget your head if it wasn't attached to your shoulders," she whispered to herself. She thought for a second about just stopping on the way and buying a pack, but decided that since she had just bought a new carton the day before that she may as well just drive around the block and pop back in at home to pick them up. A couple of minutes later, she pulled the car to the curb in front of the house and stopped the engine. Walking up the driveway, she saw that the garage door was still open - the damn opener was acting up again - and so she walked through the open garage door, into the house and entered the far end of the family room. ** End of Part 3 |
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