Marlboro Country, Part 2: Donna, Part 3

MARLBORO COUNTRY
Part Three: Rachel
mssmoker@hotmail.com


Rachel was really beginning to hate Donna.

Sure, she was nice enough back in Junior High, but now that they were in 
high school, things had changed.  Donna had really filled out over the 
summer, and was looking really great.  And milking it for all its worth, 
Rachel thought.  Look at her, hanging out in the smoking area with 
Robin, smoking up a storm, while all the boys hung around, waiting for a 
chance to light her damn cigarette!

Rachel noticed Eric there, watching intently as Donna lit another cancer 
stick, and turned away from the window in anger.

"What's the matter, Rach?"  Suzie asked.

"Nothing, nothing.  C'mon, let's get to class...I can't wait to take 
that stupid math test."

-------

It wasn't as if she actually *liked* Eric, Rachel thought as she walked 
home with Suzie and Lisa, as usual.  Sure, he was okay looking, and he'd 
been nice at the beginning of the year, and seemed interested and all, 
but not all that much lately.  He seemed to prefer hanging out in the 
smoking area, making googly-eyes are Donna every time she lit up.  Hell, 
Rachel even noticed him staring at Robin when she smoked too, and Robin 
wasn't anywhere near as stacked as Donna was now.

"Have you guys noticed Donna's getting a lot of attention lately, from 
practically every guy in school?"  Rachel said suddenly.

"Well, yeah," Suzie said, "Have you seen her lately?  She's got, like, 
Pamela Anderson boobs, and she dresses all tight now."

"She's gotten all stuck up now, too.  I used to talk to her last year, 
but now she hardly even notices me." Lisa added.

"I don't know about that," Suzie said, "She's always been nice to me."

"I think she's turning into a real slut," Lisa said.  "Mark Chatham said 
the other day that she and him did it in his father's car."

"Mark Chatham'd say he'd made it with the principal if he thought 
anyone'd believe him."  Suzie said.

"I believe it," Lisa said.  "I saw her and Luke the other day, out 
behind the bleachers, and they were going at it pretty heavy.  If she 
didn't sleep with him then, the girl's one massive tease."

"She thinks she's so cool," Rachel said, barely listening to the other 
girls, "because she's so stacked, and she smokes and all.  Oooh, look at 
me, I can blow smoke out of my mouth!"

Suzie giggled.  "Come on, Rach.  Robin smokes too, and she's pretty 
cool.  Well, kinda."

Yep, Rachel was convinced...it was all Donna's fault.

-------

"Hey Eric," Rachel said.  She spied Eric inside Strawberries looking 
over the new CDs, and she raced across the street to accidentally bump 
into him as he left.  She'd finally been able to catch him away from 
school, away from Donna.

"Oh, hi Rachel," he said, not even looking at her.  He was looking down 
the street, past her.

"I haven't seen you in a while.  I was wondering if you were thinking of 
seeing the new Bruce Willis movie coming out this weekend."

"Not sure.  Maybe."

Rachel turned and looked to where his eyes were going....Donna was 
walking down the other side of the street.  She'd stopped in a store 
doorway to light a cigarette, and Eric stood there, entranced by this.

"You got a thing for girls who smoke, Eric?"

He looked at her, shock and embarrassment covering his face.  "Huh?  
What?  What's that supposed to mean?"

"Never mind, Eric," she said, walking away.

He was still trying to cover up...but it was too late.  Rachel had 
discovered his deep, dark secret, and besides...she wasn't listening any 
more.

-------

She was taking the subway into Boston, watching as the green line 
trolley went through the dark tunnels under the city.  What is the big 
fascination, she asked herself.  What is so enthralling about watching 
someone smoke, anyway?

Why would anyone even do it in the first place, she asked.  What's the 
big deal anyway?

It was Thursday afternoon, the day her mother worked for Mrs. Ansbrush.  
Mrs. Ansbrush was an elderly lady, a friend of Rachel's grandmother, who 
was bedridden and unable to leave her home in Brighton.  Thursdays, 
Rachel's mom went over there, bringing her things, reading to her, 
whatever she needed.  Since she wasn't usuall home until late, Rachel 
usually went into town on Thursdays and met her mother outside Mrs. 
Ansbrush's building; afterward, they'd usually go somewhere nice for 
dinner at a restaurant, and get home around the time Rachel's dad got 
there.  Rachel liked those afternoons, but it usually took forever for 
her mother to finish with Mrs. Ansbrush, and Rachel'd be left alone, in 
the building's lobby, waiting for her mother to show up.

The train left the tunnel, and came up to the street.  Rachel watched 
Commonwealth Avenue pass by, and all the Boston University college 
students moving around.  As the train stopped for a light before another 
one of the BU stops, Rachel watched a bunch of them standing around, 
smoking cigarettes.

When the train pulled up to the stop, Rachel got out.

-------

The convenience store was pretty crowded, lots of college students 
buying coffee and cola and candy bars.  Rachel was surprised to see many 
of them didn't look all that much older than she did.

She'd worried about that.

She didn't know quite what prompted the impulse to run in here.  Maybe 
it was knowing she had time to kill, maybe it was that look on Eric's 
face as he watched Donna light her cigarette...she wasn't sure.  But she 
was here.

The girl in front of Donna, blond, and an inch or two shorter than 
Rachel herself, stepped up to the counter.  "Marlboro lights," she said, 
and put a couple dollar bills on the counter.  The guy behind the 
counter gave her the cigarettes without even asking her for ID.

Then it was Rachel's turn.  She put her bills on the counter, and said, 
in a voice that she was certain would give her away, "Marlboro lights."

He gave them to her.

She ran out of the store quickly, before he changed his mind.

-------

Across the street from the convenience store, there was a small park 
outside one of the BU buildings.  A bunch of students were out there, 
smoking.  Rachel found a bench, sat down, and took out her purchase.

She slowly took off the cellophane, and opened the box.  20 white 
cigarettes showed themselves, and she was beginning to wonder what she 
thought she was doing.

This is nuts!  All this, just because Eric likes to watch girls smoke?  
That's sick!  But I'm the sick one...I'm the one who wants to see what 
the fascination is.

Slowly she took one out of the pack.  She held it in her hand, between 
her fingers like she saw so many girls doing, and just looked at it.  
Now what?

She put it in her mouth, then realized....like an idiot, she'd left the 
store before getting matches, or anything to light it with.

She was about to take it out of her mouth, and put the cigarette back in 
the pack when she heard a flick.  She turned to see a small flame, 
attached to a lighter, attached to an arm, attached to the cutest guy 
Rachel had seen in her entire life.

"Need a light?" he asked.

She nodded, and stared at it for a second, before realizing.  "Oh, uh, 
sorry," she said, and leaned in toward the flame.

She wasn't sure exactly what she was supposed to do, but she tried to 
imitate what she'd seen other smokers do.  As the flame touched the end 
of her cigarette, she breathed in...not too much.  Just a little, just 
enough to keep the end lit.

The last thing she wanted was to look stupid in front of this really, 
really cute guy.

The guy smiled, and sat down next to her, lighting his own cigarette 
with the lighter.

Rachel took a very shallow breath, barely making the end of her 
cigarette glow at all, and blew a small, barely noticeable amount of 
smoke out of her mouth.  The taste in her mouth surprised her, it wasn't 
nearly as bad as she'd imagined it to be, although it was a bit rough on 
her throat...she was feeling dry and scratchy.

"Let me guess," the guy said, blowing a heavy cloud of smoke into the 
wind, "you've just started to smoke."

Rachel looked away, embarrassed.  "You can tell?  This is actually my 
very first cigarette ever."

His eyebrows raised.  "Oh really?  You mean I had the pleasure of 
lighting your first?  Wow, I can't say I've ever had that honor before."

Rachel smiled, and tried to meet his gaze.

"You look like you're afraid you'll inhale the whole thing.  Just relax, 
let the smoke in as much as you can take, and just let it sit there for 
a second or two, savor it, then blow it out slowly.  The thing is to 
enjoy it, to actually taste it."

Rachel tried it just as he said.  It was good, she was surprised to 
admit, it did have a taste, and a pleasant one at that.

"Thanks.  I guess I was just curious about it, wanted to try it and see 
what the big deal was."

"You don't have to explain," he said, "I know what you mean.  When I 
first got here, I wanted to try all the things my folks would freak if 
they knew I was trying...smoking, drinking, s...well, some other 
things."

Rachel smiled.

"It's quite a different feeling, isn't it?" he continued, "being away 
from home for the first time...in a different city, out on your own.  I 
understand how you feel."

Oh my god, Rachel thought, he thinks I go to school here!  He doesn't 
think I'm just some dopey high school freshman!

She took another drag on her cigarette.  It was becoming easier with 
each try, she was beginning to be more comfortable with it.  She was 
actually beginning to like it, too.

"I haven't seen you around before," he said, "my name's Matt."

"Hi," she said, moving the cigarette to take his hand and shake it, "I'm 
Rachel."

"Good to meet you, Rachel."

-------

They sat and talked for over an hour.  Rachel looked into her pack and 
noticed she'd smoked 5 of her cigarettes already.  It was beginning to 
feel so natural, so normal, so RIGHT, when she was around Matt.  She 
felt like a smoker, and she could understand why people like Robin and 
Donna smoked.

Plus, she noticed Matt really giving her looks as she smoked, too.  Not 
the clumsy, shy, 
I-hope-you-don't-catch-me-as-I-stare-at-you-like-a-maniac way Eric had, 
but as an adult....as a man who appreciated the person in front of him.

The smoker in front of him.

Matt had looked at his watch, and remarked that he'd missed the start of 
his 5:00 class, but it didn't matter.

"Oh my god, 5 o'clock!" Rachel said, sitting up suddenly.  "I...I've got 
to go!"

"Late for a class or something?"

"No, I...I just have to go.  It was great meeting you, Matt, and maybe 
we'll bump into each other again....Bye!"  And she ran off.

She ran toward the train stop, and saw one pulling right up.  She still 
had a cigarette in her hand, and she took one final pull on it, as the 
train screeched to a halt.  Matt was standing across the street, 
watching her.  She blew a smoky kiss at him, and got on the train.

-------

Thankfully, her mother hadn't finished with Mrs. Ansbrush by the time 
Rachel got to the building.  She even had time to go into the ladies 
room and wash up, to try and take some of the smell of cigarette smoke 
away.  That was something she hadn't thought about when she first came 
up with this crazy idea.

But, she must have gotten away with it, because her mother didn't say 
anything at all the rest of the night they spent together.

That night in bed, she woke up around 3am. She'd been dreaming, about 
Matt, about Eric, about Donna and Robin, and even Suzie and Lisa...and 
about smoking.  Eveyrone was smoking, and she was really, really 
enjoying it.

She could even feel herself....getting aroused.

Rachel reached deep into her bookbag, to where she'd hidden the 
cigarettes.  I gotta be nuts for even thinking about doing this, she 
told herself, but I really feel like having a cigarette now!

Her window was slightly open...it was a cool night, but not too cold.  
She opened the window more, and sat in front of it.  Wait a sec, she 
said, and got up, trying to find something to use for an ashtray.  She 
found a small glass she'd left up there the other day, with just a small 
amount of water in teh bottom.  She sat in front of the window, and lit 
her cigarette with one of the matches Matt had given her.

In the cool night air, and the fear that her parents were just a few 
doors down and could come in at any second and catch her, Rachel enjoyed 
the cigarette even more than the ones that afternoon.  She took in the 
warm, sweet smoke, and held it inside of her.  When she finally let it 
out, she savored the taste of it in her mouth.  She closed her eyes to 
heighten the sense.  It was a really sensual feeling, and she even found 
herself feeling herself through her nightgown.

All the while thinking of Matt.

-------

At school, she wanted to tell people.  She wanted to just light up a 
cigarette in the middle of the smoking area at lunch, and announce "Hey 
World, I smoke now!" but she was afraid to.  She didn't know what her 
friends would say, or what the other kids would say.  She wasn't even 
sure if the teachers took notes of who was smoking and told their 
parents, making sure they all had permission to smoke.  She didn't 
actually think they did that last thing, but she wasn't ready to take 
the chance.  Yet.

Still, she did manage to sneak away after school for a quick cigarette 
once or twice, and having one or two in the middle of the night was 
becoming a much-anticipated ritual.

She even managed to have a few here and there over the weekend....until, 
by the time Thursday rolled around again, she was out of cigarettes.  
Good, she thought....gives me a chance to bump into Matt again.

She took the train into town again, and got off at the same stop, in 
front of the BU building, and bought her cigarettes at the same 
convenience store, this time remembering to buy a lighter.  She sat down 
at the same bench, and had barely taken a couple puffs from it when she 
saw Matt coming down the sidewalk.  He smiled when he saw her, too...and 
waved his hand, the one with a cigarette in it.

They talked like old friends, easy and comfortable, and had cigarette 
after cigarette.  It even became a regular meeting, every Thursday 
around 4:00.  As time went on, the cigarettes became much easier for 
Rachel, not at all scratchy or rough on her throat like the first couple 
had been.  It was actually becoming more natural, too...she felt at home 
with a cigarette in her hand, and even started to develop a few habits 
along with it, like the way she held the cigarette in her right hand, 
between the fore- and middle fingers, with the forefinger slightly 
higher, and the hand in a fist, holding the cigarette at an angle 
between the fingers.

She'd even learned to snap-inhale, and exhale the smoke through her 
nose; and Matt said he was going to show her something called a french 
inhale.

She started to realize that she wanted to smoke, and didn't want to hide 
it any more.  She hated the idea of lying to her friends and hiding it 
from them, but even more so, hiding it from her parents.  But neither of 
them smoked, she doubted they'd accept that their 15 year old daughter 
smoked easily.

She was still trying to figure out a way to tell them, when her mother 
actually forced the issue.

-------

At dinner one Thursday, at a Chinese restaurant in Brookline, Rachel and 
her mother were enjoying their General Pau's Chicken and Lo Mein when 
Rachel's mom suddenly said, "How do you feel about cigarette smoking, 
honey?"

She practically choked on her rice.

"Uh, what do you mean, Mom?"

"I'm just curious, that's all."

"Uh, I don't know...there are a few kids at school who smoke, and I know 
at least with a couple of them, their parents know all about it...."

"So you don't have a problem...I mean, you don't hate smoke, or are 
allergic to it or something?"

"No, not really.  Why are you asking, Mom?"  What is she trying to do, 
Rachel furiously thought...trap me or something?  I haven't denied it, 
not exactly...

"Well..." Rachel's mother began, then she reached into her purse and 
took out a pack of Benson and Hedges.  "I'm actually embarrassed to 
admit, but I've started smoking again...Mrs. Ansbrush smokes, and she's 
too old to convince to quit, so I kind of started up again.....do you 
mind, honey?"

Rachel started to laugh.  "Um, mom...promise you won't get mad?"  And 
she took out her own pack of Marlboro lights.

They both laughed.

-------

The next day, Rachel was all set to reveal herself to the world as a 
smoker.  She'd bought a fresh pack just the day before, and was all 
ready to go out to the smoking area at lunch and proudly, and openly, 
enjoy a cigarette.

At lunch, on the way down to the cafeteria, she turned down the corridor 
rather than go in the cafe doors.  "Rachel," Suzie said, her hand on the 
door.  "Where're you going?"

"Outside for a sec," she said, taking her Marlboro lights from her bag.  
"Want to join me?"

"You smoke?"  Suzie said, surprised.  

"When did this start," Lisa asked.

"A little while ago.  You guys want to come out with me?"

"No thanks," Lisa said, a disgusted look on her face, but Suzie's eyes 
were wide.  "Sure, I'll come along.  I'd like to try one, see what 
they're like."

"You guys are nuts," Lisa said, and entered the cafeteria alone.

Rachel and Suzie went outside to the smoking area, and Rachel 
immediately lit her cigarette.  The world didn't open up, the teachers 
didn't all come out from their secret hiding places and shout 
accusations at her, the surgeon general didn't pop out from behind a 
tree and yell at her.

"Is it okay if I try one?" Suzie asked.  

"Sure," Rachel said, and handed her a cigarette.  

Then she noticed Eric.

He was again hanging around Donna, but Donna didn't even notice him.  
She was busy talking to Nick Mancuso, a senior and halfback for the 
football team.  Rachel exhaled a column of smoke into the air when Eric 
happened to look over.  A huge grin filled his face, as he made his way 
over to where she and Suzie were.

"Hey Rachel.  How's it going?"

"Okay," Rachel said, taking another drag on her cigarette, and really 
giving Eric a show.

"Say, I was wondering," he said, regaining his voice after staring at 
her exhale, "You know that new Sharon Stone movie?  Would you like to, 
maybe, go with me and see it sometime."

Rachel considered as she inhaled deeply then gave Eric a smooth nose 
exhale show.

"Sorry, Eric...I'm kind of seeing someone now.  Maybe some other time."

She did a french inhale for it, watching as his attention was so focused 
on the smoke from her mouth he wouldn't have noticed a nuclear meltdown 
around him.

But she didn't mind.  He could look all he wanted.

Looking was all he wanted to do, anyway.  Matt did more than just 
look...he saw her, not just the cigarette in her mouth.

And, one of these days, I'm gonna tell him I'm just in high school, she 
said to herself, stepping on the finished butt and lighting another 
cigarette.

But not right away.



[Story continued in Marlboro Country, Part 4: Suzie]

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