Measuring Up

MEASURING UP

Mary is the third smoker I've ever dated.  The first was Pam, a petite Asian
girl, who I met during my sophomore year of college.  I was thrilled to date
a girl who smoked because, for one thing, it made me, only 19 years old and a
non-smoker, feel more grown up to be with someone who engaged in an adult
only activity, although Pam, in fact, had been smoking for quite a few years.
Still, while we were dating, I wished that she smoked cigarettes which were
more lady-like than her brand -- Marlboro Reds -- which I always considered
to be a "masculine" brand.  Also, Pam, a sloppy person in general, would
leave full ashtrays all over the place.  Even so, watching Pam smoke was very
exciting for me, as was the hint of a taste of cigarettes when we kissed.

In complete contrast to Pam was Tina, whom I met during law school.  Tina was
impeccably neat to the point of being fussy.  Whereas Pam bit her
fingernails, Tina always sported a perfect Fench manicure. Whereas Pam's
ashtrays would overflow, Tina would immediately clean them out after only one
cigarette (She would buy only Parliament Lights 100's, but she oftened
borrowed cigarettes from friends).  Though by no means do I regret my
relationship with her now, the problem I had with Tina was how she acted
"guilty" when she smoked.  If she had to smoke in front of other people, she
was full of excuses and just not relaxed about it at all. While we dated, I
repeatedly assured her that I didn't mind when she smoked - I even admitted
that I found her particularly attractive when she did.  She simply wouldn't
believe me, or thought I was being a little weird.  But what most annoyed me
was that when we were alone, if Tina smoked, she would move away from me,
usually to another room.  When she finished her cigarette, she refused to let
me kiss her or, indeed, have any physical contact, until she was sure that I
couldn't smell (or taste) the smoke.  We only lasted two months together.

After Tina, I became discouraged about the possibility of dating a girl who
smoked, because they tended to date guys that smoked, that is until I met
Mary at an outdoor bar in the Hamptons. We were kind of checking each other
out, when she pulled out a pack of Virginia Slims Lights 120's from her
purse, and I felt an electric jolt go through my body, as I watched her light
up and slowly exhale the smoke.  She looked absolutely beautiful, and I could
tell by the way she smoked that this was someone who clearly was not ashamed
of her smoking as was Tina!

I've never really been one to pick up a girl in the bar, but after checking
each other out for about a half an hour, I knew I had to try and meet her.  I
nervously walked over and introduced myself.  She told me her name was Mary
and that she worked in the advertising industry.  She was at the bar with a
few friends from her house (we both had summer shares) who were dancing in
the indoor section of the bar.  Mary seemed very pleasant and self-assured.
As we made more small talk, I just knew that, if she liked me back, this was
going to work out.  One of her friends came outside and said they were going
somewhere else, and, before she left, Mary opened her pocket book, took out a
piece of paper and her pen, and wrote down her phone number plus "call me!"
When she opened her pocketbook, I quickly glanced in it and my heart skipped
a beat when I saw a pack of Virginia Slims 120s.

I called her two days later, when we were both back in the City, to ask her
out to dinner.  I was obviously nervous, but Mary did her best to put me at
ease, and we made a date for that Thursday evening.  When we met up at this
romantic restaurant I picked, I couldn't believe my luck, as she looked just
stunning in her little black dress.  Still, I regretted that, due to the
smoking laws, I wouldn't be able to watch her smoke one of her long
cigarettes during dinner.

After we made small talk about things in our background we hadn't discussed
before, Mary suddenly asked me, "Steve, you know I smoke right."

"Yes," I answered and added (perhaps a little too quickly), "don't worry about
it.  Even though I don't smoke, it doesn't bother me at all."

"Well I'm glad to hear that, because I promised myself I would never go
through what I did with my last boyfriend, who often complained when I had a
cigarette, even though I smoke less than half a pack per day.  He even
complained about how I tasted when he kissed me.  I mean, as an adult woman,
why should I have to put up with such immaturity?"

I assured her that if we continued to see each other, as I hoped we would,
this would never happen with me and explained that I had previously dated two
women who smoked, without any problems.  Mary said, "Steve, tomorrow night my
friend Claudia is having a party.  Will you come with me?"  After I replied I
would be delighted to (I actually had a blind date scheduled which I would
cancel), Mary continued, "I'm just going to make sure that you really don't
mind that I smoke, is that ok?"

I didn't know what she was suggesting, but replied "that's fine with me, but
you'll see, I really don't mind."  Mary gave me the address, and we agreed to
meet at the party the next evening at 9:00.  After dinner, we shared a cab
ride home, and kissed briefly good night.

I met Mary at the party, which was in a two-bedroom apartment in a modern
luxury high rise building overlooking the East River.  The party was pretty
crowded, and a number of people were smoking, including the host who was
Mary's friend Claudia, an attractive redhead.  Mary led me over to a couch
where she introduced me to two other friends, an attractive brunette named
Wendy, and an absolutely stunning blond named Suzette, who was a lawyer in
some high powered corporate firm.  Claudia sat with us and I learned that
these four women had met in college, rushed and joined the same sorority, and
remained the best of friends. Mary lit one of her Virginia slims and rested
her left hand holding her long cigarette on my right thigh, moving it just a
bit closer to my crotch each time she would take a puff and set her hand back
down.  As we talked, the smoke from Mary's cigarette rose slowly to my face.
Every so often, I would glance down, and had to deeply concentrate to avoid
getting a hard-on.  About half way through the cigarette, Mary asked me if I
minded the smoke, and I replied that I didn't mind at all.  In response, Mary
just smiled and moved closer to me on the couch.

We stayed at the party until a little past 2:00 a.m. Besides Mary's three
college friends, I met some other nice people, including Wendy's boyfriend
and Suzette's husband, Rob.  As we were leaving, Mary lit her third cigarette
of the night.  In the hallway, Mary, still smoking, reached behind my head
and gently guided my face towards hers, and we passionately kissed for a long
time, with lots of tongue.

"Does it bother you how I taste when I'm smoking?" asked Mary.

"You taste absolutely wonderful, I could kiss you all night" I replied, and
we continued to kiss.  We took a romantic cab ride to Mary's apartment, and
this time, she asked me up.

We stood in her living room and kissed some more.  "Steve," said Mary pulling
away, "you've passed my first two tests.  I'm positive that I don't have to
worry that you're going to complain about my smoking.  But there's one more
test to go, which is something of a different nature" said Mary, with a
mischievous leer.  "Let's just say that I have certain requirements
concerning the men I date.  So I'm going to need you to pull down your pants
and briefs to your ankles and roll up your shirt."

"Are you serious?" I asked.

"Perfectly," she said.  "Don't be nervous, believe me this won't hurt."

Although I was completely taken aback by what she was asking me to do, I
thought to myself how lucky I was to have this beautiful woman asking me to
take off my pants, so, as our eyes stayed glued together, I undid my belt,
pulled down my pants, rolled up my shirt, and finally, slowly pulled my
underpants down to my ankles.   Mary, still looking directly into my eyes,
said, "good, Steve," and she took one step towards me, and we tongue kissed for
at least a half a minute.  Of course, when she pulled away, I was as hard as
a rock, and Mary took a peak down and smiled.  "OK, Steve.  Are you ready for
your last test?" she asked.

I still had no idea what she intended, but I figured it couldn't be too bad.
"Test away!" I answered.

Much to my surprise, she reached into her purse, took out her pack of
cigarettes, and took one out.  "As you see," said Mary, "I like to smoke
cigarettes that are extra long.  I never did this before, but it recently
occured to me that a good way to determine if a guy is long enough to satisfy
my needs is to compare him to a Virginia Slims 120s."  And with that, she
reached down, and put her unlit (thank God!) cigarette side by side with my
erect penis.

I have to admit that it was a tremendous turn-on feeling her hold one of her
cigarettes pressed against my shaft like that, which I'm sure made me as long
as possible at that moment.  But knowing how long her cigarettes were, I
couldn't bare to look.  After only a few seconds though, Mary put her
cigarette back in her pack and said, "Congratulations, Steve, you passed with
flying colors."  She gave me a big smile, and said, "What would you like to
do now?"

I don't know how we both got our clothes off so fast, but we ended up in her
bed, and, as we made love for the first time, once again I couldn't believe
how lucky I was to be with a girl like Mary.  Later, as we lay in each
other's arms, while Mary smoked, she admitted to me that, once I passed her
first two smoking tests, she just wanted to get me out of my pants in an
interesting way.  "I honestly don't care if you outsize my cigarettes," she
said as she gave my butt a playful smack, "but I'm really glad you do."

-STEVE SMITH