Memoirs of a Smoking Fetishist, Part 4

Memoirs of a Smoking Fetishist
(or, How I Learned to Love Women Who Smoke)

(C) 1997 by TK  (asfs@juno.com)

NOTICE:  This document contains graphic descriptions of what makes one
smoking fetishist tick.  Those who aren't attracted to women who smoke
should stop reading now!  This document also contains descriptions of
sexual situations, and is not intended for younger readers!

This is also a long history of my life, so please sit back, relax, and
enjoy!

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Chapter Four - Discovering and Revealing My Fetish

In early 1996, I was trying out a free Internet trial offer.  After
surfing around for a few days, I got the idea to search for
smoking-related sites, much like my previous research at the college
library.  I was surprised at the number of hits.  What surprised me even
more was the discovery of Loring's "Smoking From All Sides" site.  After
moving to the "Glamour" page, I realized my obsession [which I could now
classify as a fetish] was more widespread that I had ever imagined.  That
night, I spent hours reading the stories from the archive and visiting
the picture links.  It was probably the first time I had ever masturbated
while at the computer.

It was refreshing to learn that there were so many more men out there
that were just like me.  The stories brought back many memories for me,
and I gained a better understanding of my reaction to seeing beautiful
women smoking.  Once I realized it was a fetish, it confirmed something
that I had suspected for a while.  One of my brothers also had the
fetish.

It seemed strange when I found out my sister-in-law was a closet smoker,
because my brother always made anti-smoking comments.  When I started
seeing cigarettes at his apartment, I assumed they were hers because of
the brands.  I had seen a pack of Max Menthol several times, and I knew
they were a feminine brand.  When I noticed my brother spotting women
smokers in their cars, I was sure he felt the same way I did.  I also hid
my fetish by publicly voicing my opinion against smoking.

It didn't occur to me until later that my brother was also a closet
smoker.  While visiting his home on the east coast several years ago, my
brother occasionally disappeared for short periods of time.  I remember
once walking into his bedroom and seeing the bathroom window open.  On
another occasion, I found out he was in the garage, then he came inside. 
There was a definite lingering smell of smoke on him.  I later went out
to the garage and found a pack of Max Menthol stashed away.  They also
had a used-looking ashtray on their back deck.  He had already admitted
to me that his wife smoked, and I had the good fortune of seeing her
smoke a Max on several occasions.  Each drag was accented by a French
inhale.  It was a very nice sighting.

On a later visit to their home, I spotted a pack of Capri Menthol 100s in
the kitchen drawer, but I never saw her smoke one.  Once again, I felt
relieved to know that I wasn't the only man who took pleasure in smoking
long, slim cigarettes.  My brother also had a good-sized collection of
adult videos, and I managed to swipe a few of them once.  One showed
Traci Lords smoking within the first few minutes [it was a partial copy
of "Traci, I Love You"].  Another ["Sex World"] showed a clothed woman
lighting up what looked like a More.  I knew he had the fetish when I saw
that the light-up scene was repeated several times on his copy of the
tape!  I believe my brother and his wife both quit smoking within the
last several years.  I wonder if he got any video...

And speaking of brothers, during a visit to another brother's home on the
west coast, I was able to witness his wife smoking VS Menthol 120s.  I
remember she was smoking Newport Lights 100s when they got married.  Come
to think of it, that brother also acted like an anti-smoker.  Could it be
that he also had the fetish?  Maybe he suggested to his wife that she
start smoking the VS 120s!  Now divorced, he is currently living with an
attractive young woman, whom I met at our parents' house.  My imagination
started running wild when she pretended to hold an imaginary cigarette,
even bringing her fingers to her lips.  She did this after my mother lit
up one of her Salem Lights.  If this brother has the fetish, and has
revealed it to his girlfriend, she might have been doing this just to
taunt him!

Knowing how widespread this fetish is, it wouldn't surprise me a bit to
learn that my brothers are here with us.  However, I find it much harder
to believe that there could actually be three smoking fetishists from the
same household!  [Note to my brothers:  if you're out there, let me know!
 You know who you are, because all this sounds so familiar!  I'm spilling
my deepest, darkest secrets here (in an anonymous way), so it's time for
you to come out of the closet!]

Within a few days after discovering the wealth of smoking fetish
information available on the Internet, I decided to reveal my fetish to
my wife.  This time I wasn't going to skirt the issue.  I wanted to make
sure she knew exactly how much it turned me on to watch her smoke.  We
were on our bed, and she was reading a story in Penthouse Letters
magazine.  I was peeking over her shoulder and reading along.  I already
had an erection, and my heart was beating over 120 beats per minute [just
picked that number out of the air].  I don't remember exactly what I
said, but she seemed interested in what I was saying.  I know I mentioned
the Internet information, because I thought it would help her better
understand my feelings if she knew I wasn't the only weirdo out there.  I
remember telling her that I loved to watch her smoke Capris the best. 
This clued her in to why I asked her to smoke Capris when we went to Las
Vegas the month before.  At the time, she asked if it was because I
wanted to smoke them, and I said, "yes."  She now understood why I
specified Capri as the only "catch" to going on that vacation.

I honestly feel she understood my fetish when I revealed it to her.  She
was more than happy to satisfy my desires.  I asked if I should go get
the cigarettes, and she said I should.  I raced downstairs, grabbed my
Capri Menthol 120s and the lighter, then headed back up to the bedroom. 
I got the spare ashtray from the bathroom, and placed everything on the
bed next to her.  She was lying on her stomach, pointing towards the foot
of the bed.  The magazine was in front of her, and another magazine on
the bedspread supported the ashtray next to her.  I sat on the floor at
the foot of the bed.  She picked up the Capris, and I grabbed the lighter
[for about a year prior, I lit almost every cigarette she smoked].  I
offered her the flame, and she accepted.  I sat and stared for the next
ten minutes or so, without saying a word!  She had excellent style, and I
didn't want to break her rhythm.  She continued to read and smoke as I
sat there gently stroking my erection.  She immediately noticed the
effect it had on me.  When she finished, I thanked her and kissed her.  I
explained that I much preferred to smoke before sex than after.  To me,
it was a form of foreplay.  A form that would become a regular part of
our lovemaking.  [She would take more drags off my Capri during fellatio,
and blow the smoke all over me!]

Although we were still closet smokers, we would smoke in public almost
every time we were out of town on vacation.  We would also sometimes sit
in the smoking section at restaurants, more often that not on our last
few vacations.  As I mentioned before, the sight of my wife smoking in
public really turned me on!  And when she smoked, I did too, so it was a
thrill for me, too.  After revealing my fetish to her, she would play up
her smoking in public, sometimes blowing the smoke right at me.  She
would also smoke Capri more often, knowing the effect it had on me, and
knowing how much I liked to smoke them too.

I think my wife now understood why she kept running out of her Virginia
Slims Ultra Lights Menthol, while I had a constant supply of Capri
Menthol 120s.  I also began to bring home different brands.  I discovered
a discount cigarette store on the other side of town [where I wouldn't be
spotted], and I frequently went there looking for special offers on Capri
and VS.  On one trip, I noticed they had Nat Sherman's cigarettes.  I had
tried the Fantasia Lights before on a business trip to Dallas, but I
didn't like the fact that they were non-menthol.  I saw that they carried
Hint of Mint, so I picked up a pack.  When I later pulled them out at
home, she immediately opened them and lit one up.  They were brown, like
Mores, but she didn't seem to mind.   [I once told her I smoked Mores
before, and she thought they looked weird.]  She ended up smoking most of
that pack, but did share some with me.  It was very exciting to see her
smoking a brown cigarette, and I imagined her with a More.

On a recent long weekend trip, we enjoyed Capris in the hotel bar, at
poolside late at night, the restaurants we dined at, and in the hotel
room.  One night, I dropped her off at the hotel and told her I wanted to
run out for some VS Superslims.  I had a taste for their cool menthol
flavor.  In the back of my mind, I had another brand in mind:  More.  I
had to stop at three different gas stations before I found everything I
was looking for:  VS Superslims Menthol and More Menthol, one pack each. 
Upon returning to the hotel, I showed my wife what I bought.  Being a
good sport, she tried the Mores and liked them.  I even had one during
our foreplay that night!

Our last vacation to San Francisco was especially nice for me.  We stayed
in a very nice hotel downtown.  Although we discovered California was now
smoke-free in restaurants [damn!], we found out that you could still
smoke in the lounge areas or at tables outdoors.  We took advantage of
this every chance we could.  She had agreed to smoked Capri while we were
there, which made me very happy.  I don't think I've ever had so many
erections while sitting in public places!

When we went sightseeing one day, I said I wanted to pick up an extra
roll of faster film.  When she asked why, I said I wanted to take some
"fetish photos."  She replied, "Hmmm!  That sounds fun!"  [Schwing!]  I
made dinner reservations at a restaurant that was at the top of a nearby
hotel, and we both dressed up for the evening.  I loaded the camera, and
tucked two packs of cigarettes into my suit pocket:  a partial pack of
Capri Menthol 100s, and a fresh pack of 120s.  I had already packed down
the tobacco in the 120s and removed the outer cellophane so I'd be ready
for action, but left the inner foil intact.

We left our hotel a little early so we could enjoy a cigarette in the bar
before dinner.  We got to the restaurant and told the hostess we would be
in the bar for a few minutes.  We grabbed a table and ordered two glasses
of wine.  I put the camera on the chair next to me.  My wife asked for a
cigarette, so I reached into my pocket and retrieved the 120s and the
lighter.  I carefully pulled the foil from the pack, and exposed the
objects of my obsession.  I gently slid one out, being careful not to
damage it.  Handing the Capri 120 to my wife, I produced the lighter and
started the evening.  She looked especially beautiful that night.  I
picked up the camera and turned it on.  In a matter of moments, I had
taken my first smoking photo.  My second shot soon followed, which was an
exhale, seen from the side.  I took the 100s out from my pocket and lit
my own Capri, and we finished about the same time.

After dinner, we returned to the bar for more cocktails.  I took one more
photo before we walked back to our hotel.  Back in the room, I arranged
the chairs and lamps for a makeshift photo studio.  I proceeded to take
picture after picture, starting with my wife removing a Capri 120 from
the pack.  After two or three photos, my wife had one request:  that I
strip down for the remainder of the night.  I quickly complied, and she
saw how excited I was.  I took about 5 more pictures before my wife
offered to change into a short black dress she brought for the following
night.  This fit my plan perfectly, as I had also brought along the rest
of the Mores from home.  I thought the More would look especially good on
her in that dress.

I shot about 5 "More" pictures, then we switched back to the Capri 120s. 
I positioned the camera on top of the TV, then set the self-timer. 
Standing out of the camera's view, I reached into the shot to light her
cigarette, just as the shutter clicked.  I captured a few more Capri
moments in her black dress, then she changed into her satiny zebra-print
nightie.  After a few photos of her on the bed, seductively posing with
her Capri, I put the camera down and made love to my wife.  Fortunately,
I had two shots left on the roll, so I was able to get some photos of an
actual after-sex cigarette!  The morning after, I took the roll of film
to the nearest one-hour photo place, and when I picked up the finished
prints, I couldn't believe how well they came out.  Although the flash
often washed out the exhale shots, the poses were fantastic!

Just after last Thanksgiving, I began my second roll of smoking photos. 
I wanted to get some shots of my wife in some of her nice suits, looking
very classy with a Capri.  I also picked up a pack of VS 120s for an
added bonus.  I had taken about six more photos over the next few weeks
before my wife dropped a bombshell.  She uttered those two words every
fetishist hates to hear:  "I quit."  We had planned to quit at the
beginning of the year, since we would be starting a family soon.  I had
no idea she was going to quit early.  She explained that she did it so
she knew she could, and also because of renewed interest in the church. 
I supported her decision, and she said she didn't mind if I kept smoking.
 Out of respect for her decision, I only smoked after she went to bed.  I
finished off the last of my carton of Capri Menthol 120s shortly after
New Years' Day, 1997.

Although it wasn't difficult to quit, it has been difficult to keep from
smoking another cigarette, especially for a fetishist.  I don't believe I
was ever addicted to the nicotine-- just the act of smoking and the
sexual arousal we all feel as fetishists.  I plan to smoke again someday,
either after my wife is pregnant or after we have the child.  I don't
believe I'll smoke with any regularity, but I do hope my wife will join
me for at least one Capri.

For over a year now, I have continued to follow the fetish community on
the Internet.  I think I will always do so.  I have realized there are
many unique aspects of the fetish that makes us individuals, while
sharing the common bond of loving to see women smoking.  I'd now like to
share some of my views that make my fetish profile unique.

As I mentioned over and over, I like to see women smoking long, slim,
all-white or all-brown cigarettes.  Cork-tipped filters just don't do
anything for me, but I will pause to watch an attractive young woman
smoke just about anything.  For a woman smoking slim or superslim
cigarettes, I'll stop and stare!  My favorites are in line with what I
like to smoke, so I go nuts for women smoking Capri Menthol 120s.  [I've
found that there is a love-hate relationship here with Capri.  I see an
awful lot of negative comments about them, but I think they are the
sexiest cigarette ever made.]  And forget the generic or discount
cigarettes.  You get what you pay for, and quality and style come at a
price.  [Use coupons if you want to save money.]  I'm mainly interested
in seeing women in my own age group (20s-30s), but I am often intrigued
by seeing girls in their late teens smoking.

The women must smoke with a feminine style.  I hate to see an attractive
college student in grunge clothes smoking a Marlboro or Camel.  I prefer
women with a lot of class.  In addition, I like to watch women who aren't
heavy smokers.  For me, the ideal woman would be an occasional or closet
smoker.  [It's no accident that these traits describe my wife!]  When I'm
out at a bar, I also like to see the occasional smokers bumming
cigarettes from their friend who smokes.  I have witnessed this on
several occasions, and it always manages to keep my attention for long
periods of time.

I don't think dangling is very ladylike.  A woman should have a damn good
reason to keep the cigarette in her mouth.  I would much rather see a
woman holding her cigarette while rummaging through her purse for a
cigarette for a friend.  It's nice to know she has some coordination. 
And a woman shouldn't constantly flick the ashes off the cigarette.  Use
an ashtray, and only when you need to.

Although I notice the well-dressed smokers first, I am not a big fan of
lipstick, neither on a woman's lips, nor on her cigarette.  I am not into
holders, nor cigarette cases.  A woman should use a lighter, preferable
one that is slim or small [like a Mini-Bic, in a color to match her
pack].  I like to see women buying their cigarettes in hard packs,
because the cigarettes are protected more.  I hate to see a woman smoke a
crushed cigarette from a flattened soft pack.  If I pass by a woman with
an open purse, I'm always looking down to find out what brand they smoke.
 I might also make a pass by the ashtray they were using, just to check
the brand.  By the way, I don't like it when women crush out their
cigarette and keep grinding it.  Just put it out with a little twist, and
leave it there!  And don't over-use an ashtray.  It's a filthy habit, but
bearable when the ashtrays are kept clean and tidy.  [OK, so I'm an anal
retentive fetishist!]

I don't formally collect cigarette ads, but I do visit the Ghostship
Archive occasionally to reminisce.  I also enjoy looking at my wife's
magazines for the latest Capri and VS ads.  She complains that I always
read her magazines before she ever gets to see them.  Whenever I come
across some old magazines around the house, I make sure to thumb through
them for my favorite ads.  I don't own any smoking videos, but I may look
into it.  I have the pictures I took of my wife, but I don't have a
scanner.  Even if I did, I would only post one or two pictures-- the ones
where you can't tell it's her.  I don't think she'd want to be recognized
all over the world as a smoker.  Besides, she doesn't know how much time
I spend on the computer with my fetish!

And lastly, it's a turn-off to see a beautiful woman who is an
inconsiderate smoker.  If you have to have a cigarette at dinner, wait
till your dinner partners are done eating.  Don't smoke while walking
through the non-smoking section.  On a recent cruise (after we quit), I
always noticed a semi-attractive middle-aged woman smoking her Misty
120s.  Every drag was accompanied by a textbook French inhale.  However,
I kept seeing her in one of the ship's buffet restaurants at lunch, and
several times she walked up to the food service line (through the
non-smoking section) with her cigarette.  Kinda rude.

Oh, and I almost forgot:  cigars.  Forget cigars.  I can't stand the
smell of a cigar, so I certainly wouldn't want a woman smoking one next
to me.  I may watch with interest from afar, but only to see their
exhales.  Again, dangling is a no-no, even more so with a cigar.  A woman
dangling a wet, soggy cigar in her lips isn't exactly the kissable type!

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I hope you've enjoyed this look into my life as a fetishist and as a
smoker.  I've always wanted to write something for the fetish community. 
My writing style may not measure up to the caliber of The Flying Pen [a
true genius with my favorite brands], but I feel we can benefit from
learning more about what makes us tick.  I am proud to be a member of
this community.

I welcome any and all comments!

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