Quit Smoking Diary, Part 5 | |
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Author's note: The following story is satire, and is not intended to, in any sense, imply that people should not quit smoking, or that people should intentionally sabotage the attempts of others to quit. As the surgeon general so wisely advises, "Quitting smoking now greatly reduces serious risks to your health." The author does not necessarily condone the use of tobacco, nor hypnosis under false pretenses, nor participation in lesbian sex, , nor masturbation, nor any other morally questionable practice depicted in the story. Later parts of the story contain graphic sexual language, and are not suitable for underage readers. Any resemblance to smoking fetish fiction is purely accidental. "My Quit Smoking Diary" Part 5 Entry 10: My name is Jennifer Morgan, and I am a nicotine addict. It has been over a day since my last cigarette, and I still really want one. Maybe I should say I really need one. I am going to get my chance very soon! After I wrote my journal entry last night, I decided to pay the girl next door a visit, if nothing else to get to know possibly the only other person on this stupid cruise who knows what I am going through. So I showered, got dressed, and did my hair and makeup, feeling the whole time like something (nicotine!) was missing from my getting ready routine. I was a bit nervous when I knocked on the door, but of course I've been a nervous wreck since yesterday, so no surprise there. A young and feminine sounding voice called out, "Just a minute," and I waited for probably about two minutes before the door opened. The girl who answered looked to be about my age, perhaps eighteen or nineteen years old. For some reason I couldn't place, she looked a little bit familiar, as if she was related to someone I knew. She was petite, with silky, shoulder length black hair, and she was dressed very fashionably in a very well-tailored red dress. On her hands, she wore matching red gloves, and her small feet filled the matching red high heels. A pearl necklace adorned her neck and chest. She looked as if she had just stepped out of the cover of Vogue or Glamour. I introduced myself, and said that I was rooming next door, and was wondering if she might want to go out for a drink. She said, in a well-cultured way, that her name was Emily, and that she was pleased to make my acquaintance. She ordered a margarita, while I asked for the same, and to my surprise she insisted on paying. After making some small talk, I broached the subject that I really wanted to talk about, trying not to betray my anxieties. "When I came onboard, the porter who showed me to my room mentioned that you were quitting smoking. How is it going? I'm here on this particular ship for the same reason." Her answer surprised me again, because she said, politely but firmly, that she would rather not talk about that subject right now, and immediately began to talk about the weather. Needless to say, I wasn't sure at all what to make of her response. Something that I noticed that was interesting was the way that she took the straw out of her drink and held it, between her forefinger and middle finger, like a cigarette. She noticed me noticing, and hastily put her straw back in her drink. It was an awkward moment. She excused herself and went to the bathroom, while I continued to sip my beverage. After she returned, we had more drinks, and as the evening wore on we got more comfortable. Much more comfortable. All that was missing was our cigarettes. We began talking more freely, and she, perhaps under the influence of the several margaritas she had drunk, said, rather loudly, that she really wished that she had a cigarette. I had, of course, been thinking the whole thing since we had our first drink, so I nodded my head enthusiastically in agreement. Several of the anti-smoking passengers looked at us with disdain, and I felt embarrassed. But she just laughed merrily, and said that perhaps we should go back to our rooms and talk in a more private setting. We walked, rather tipsily, back to our rooms, and she invited me in. I was eager to talk with her, so I accepted. Emily went again to the restroom, and told me to make myself comfortable. I sat down in one of the comfortable chairs that were situated in the room while Emily relieved herself. When she came back out, she kicked off her red shoes and lay down on her stomach on her bed, facing me. "I'm sorry I was a little bit abrupt with you earlier, when you asked how I was doing on quitting smoking," she said. "That's ok. I've been pretty cranky myself the past day or so. Have you been ok?" "I don't know if I should tell you this, but- No, I don't want to tempt you." I spoke up right away, "That's ok. Please do. Tell me, that is." She smiled, as if in amusement. "Well, I'm getting off of this ship tomorrow, and checking into a hotel." "I see," I replied. "Let me guess, when they asked you smoking or non-" "Yeah," Emily said, glancing downward. "I'm going to smoke again tomorrow!" I don't know if it was the alcohol, the idea of being left alone on the ship, the still very intense cravings, or some other influence, but before I thought about what I was going to say, I cried out, "Please, take me with you!" Emily smiled, but it was clear that she was trying not to. She probably felt bad for tempting me, and she said, "But you've been through so much already. I don't want to be an excuse for you to start back up again." "Don't worry about it," I answered. "Even if you weren't planning to go, I don't think I would have stayed smoke free after we reach port. The idea of going to buy cigarettes has been in my mind since I got onboard." "In my case, I've been planning to get off since before the cruise. I even reserved my room and shipped a few cartons of cigarettes and cigars to the hotel in advance." I thought it was interesting that she wanted to get off the whole time, and asked, "Why did you get on this cruise in the first place, if you weren't planning on quitting?" "Well, my older sister kind of talked me into it." Unconsciously, Emily picked up a white pen and began stroking it. She smiled, revealing slightly stained teeth, as she said, "She's a pretty strong person, which is to say that she's fiendishly manipulative, and she usually ends up getting other people to do what she wants them to. Despite her shortcomings, we're really close though." "In my case, I was already seeing a hypnotherapist to help me quit, and my best friend got me the ticket to help me out." Emily began to chew on the pen, and then, noticing what she was doing, put it hastily down, only to pick it up again and fiddle with it. She said, "The funny thing is that my sister smokes constantly, although she tells certain people that she quit smoking a long time ago." "That's amazing!" I exclaimed. "My friend who arranged for my trip still smokes too. I think she feels guilty for having started me smoking." "My sister got me started too," Emily said, smiling again at the further commonality in our situations. "But I don't think she feels guilty about it. I just think that she wanted me to come because she wants what's best for me." "Yeah, same with my friend," I said, nodding my head in agreement. "So you're seeing a hypnotherapist? How's that going?" "She's really great, and I'm totally glad I got a chance to meet her. She just seems so deeply concerned about me. You know she even drove me to the airport yesterday, and made sure I got on the boat? You would probably get along great with her, even though she says she quit smoking about ten years ago. Even though I want to start back up with smoking, I think I'd like to continue seeing her." "That's really cool," Emily said. "Hey, I have a question. Why did you ship cigs to the hotel when you can just buy them somewhere?" "What brand do you smoke?" Emily asked. "I'm a proud Newport girl," I said. Saying those words reinforced in my mind that I had no intention of going any longer without a cigarette than I had to, and even though my cravings continued to be horrible, I felt a certain lightening of tension at the idea that there was a light, so to speak, at the end of my tunnel. "That's probably why you asked. If you smoked my brand, you wouldn't want to smoke any other kind of cigarette." Emily seemed to grow more animated as she spoke. "What brand do you smoke?" I asked, suddenly curious. "They aren't available at stores, yet, though maybe someday. Allures are easily the best cigarette in the world. I get them directly from the manufacturer." "That's interesting," I replied. "I've never heard of Allure cigarettes, but I guess if you're going to put smoke in your lungs, it might as well be the best." Emily smiled, prompting me to ask, "So, you never answered my question. Can I come with you? I can pay for half of your room, then at some point I'll fly back home, and put this whole quitting smoking thing behind me." Emily chewed thoughtfully on the end of her pen before answering. "Well, I hate to be the cause of you falling off the nicotine wagon, but I would really like to have some company. So, yes! I'd be happy to have you. But on three conditions." "Which are?" "One, you have to let me pay for your room, for your flight home, and any other expenses. I must insist, since money isn't really an issue for me, and I feel like your getting off the ship is partially my fault. Secondly, your therapist sounds like a really wonderful person, so I think you should call her before you make any decisions, and hear what she has to say." "I don't know what to say about you paying, except, thanks! And I was already planning on calling my therapist. I don't think she has much chance of changing my mind though; I hope she won't be too disappointed. What's the third condition?" "Well, instead of going back to your old brand, you're going to have to try my brand. That will mean that it'll be a little bit longer until we get to smoke again, but trust me, it'll be extremely worth it." At these words, she put the pen in her mouth again, and gazed at me, grinning dreamily. Impulsively, I got up, picked up the phone by her bedside, and ordered a nice bottle of champagne to celebrate our decision. Since Emily was so generous with me, it was the least I could do. When the bottle arrived, we consumed it over the next couple of hours, talking the whole time about how good it will feel tomorrow to cheerfully submit to our desire for cigarettes. Emily drank more than I did, and seemed more than tipsy when I finally decided it was time for me to go back to my own room and sleep. I went back to my room, and despite my incredible cravings, which had intensified rather than diminished with the alcohol and the conversation, I soon fell asleep. I woke up around 7:00 this morning, craving a cigarette, but excited to know that my cravings will soon be satisfied. Instead of smoking, I wrote this journal entry, which was a poor substitute, but which helped me to organize my thoughts before I call Dr. Monroe. Then, I need to pack, because I'm outta here, very soon, heading again for smoking satisfaction! Emily and I are already becoming very good friends, and I can't wait for us to leave this place. I have never met a girl so excited about her brand of cigarettes. I'm looking forward to trying them, and despite my desperation for nicotine, I'm happy for the first time since my last cigarette. It is just such an amazing coincidence that both Emily and I are so much alike. It is as if the goddess of nicotine took pity on my miserable plight, and sent Emily to console me in my hour of need. |
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