Star Me Kitten, Part 1 | |
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Star Me Kitten (Part 1 of 2) an4@anon.lelnet.com Gillian was lying in bed. She lit a cigarette with rapt anticipation. As soon as she'd taken the first draw from it she slid her right hand down the curve of her abdomen, inside her thigh, and began a patient, unhurried masturbation. She allowed her thoughts to free range as she did it, passing from one set of pleasantries to another in a way which made her patient believer's approach all the more sexual and sensual. But even as she moved herself towards the inevitable climax, the thoughts which drove Gillian were dark and lonely. Only the knowledge that she would she be here keep the darkness from engulfing her. She was special- not merely a believer like Gillian, but a true believer, versed in the texts and the ideas behind them. Professor MacMurty drifted into her thoughts. He was standing on the loading dock, patiently working his cigar with the stylish grace of an educated man. Gillian drew deeply on her cigarette, allowing the inhale to flow into her waiting lungs. It was a good feeling, one which made the orgasm which followed it all the more special. For a moment at least, the dark thoughts faded. Marianne was sitting out back, lounging in her chair. She was just finishing up Moby Dick, and as a celebration, she was lighting a cigarette. Her mother came outside, carrying a tall glass of ice tea. She watched her daughter apply the flame to her cigarette with a certain amount of motherly pride. Amanda had taken to smoking with all the skill of a student of the art. That was what it was, if you asked Amanda. Not an habit, and certainly not an addiction. No, it was an art. Practised by attractive women the world over. Marianne had never spoken of it, but she obviously understood the nature of what she was and what she was doing. An attractive smoker made a statement when she smoked. Marianne was making the most wonderful statement. She removed the cigarette from her mouth and demonstrated the skill of her nose exhale as she took the iced tea. She offered Amanda the cigarette and she took it happily, enjoying the shared nature of the moment. "Any regrets ?" Marianne asked. "About what ?" "About deciding to let me smoke." Amanda pursed her lips and spread smoke into the backyard, hopelessly trying to fill it. "Not a one. How's the pre-studying going ?" Marianne laughed. "I can't say I like Moby Dick, but I like the idea that I'll be able to say I read it as well as understanding cryptic references to it one the X-Files. Funny, but a surfer dude doesn't seem like the type of guy who would have read Moby Dick cover to cover." "Those references are less obscure than the Fiji Mermaid, no ?" Marianne took the cigarette back, drew on it easily, and nodded. "I suppose, but that whole thing about wanting a peg leg- it's hard to believe." "Carter does create caricatures, to a point. Are you really going to take that summer course ?" Marianne actually managed a giggle, although they were moving into a more serious subject. Amanda knew that as always her daughter was quickly drifting in that direction, analysing as she stalled. When she finally answered, there was no question what they were both thinking about. "I suppose I could ride my bike- but what about the rainy days ?" "I don't have a ton of money for a car, honey. And you don't know the first thing about driving." "Just get me a car with a working cigarette lighter and I'll be all set." "No question about whether you need a car, I suppose ?" "No," Marianne said, honestly, and then handed the cigarette back to her mother. Angel was sitting in her car- well, the rental car. There was a small plastic white disc hanging off the key chain. It was a `no-smoking-in-the car' reminder. Angel, no stickler for rules, stuck her left hand out the open window so that the smoke from her cigarette would not fill up the car. Pembroke Falls was the sort of place which could be described as an easy job. The people were quiet and unassuming, the town was not expecting a person like her to walk their streets. The university was another matter. There might be someone there who was ready for her- lately she had noticed that the other side always seemed to be nipping at her heels, as though there was an information leak somewhere inside the group. She had her own list of potential subjects, but what was the point ? The group existed with the acceptance of moles and counterintelligence. It was a part of their every action. Like sending her here. She brought the cigarette to her mouth, inhaled slowly, thought about dear sweet Gillian. No one else saw her that way, but Angel did because that was what the girl- woman required. Just a pretense of true understanding was enough to ensure her cooperation. She would do whatever she asked, whether it be simple observation or desperate action. She picked up her cell phone, then put it down again, deciding to instead work her cigarette. It was a beastly hot and humid day- a pack of cigarettes opened in the early morning would be stale and moist by midday. All the more reason to smoke the ones she had before the sun rose too high in the summer sky. Gillian would be waiting for that call. Probably sitting at home, smoking and masturbating and hoping. What for, not even Amanda was sure. There were some things even she could not see- nor would she have wanted to. Still, she would wait, and Angel needed to prepare for the woman. Amanda. As always, there was a key, and in this case that was the mother and the PhD student with the right attitude for her potentially exciting research. The group was, as always, interested not only in the research, but its conclusions, and that was where Angel came in. The anti-smoking bill lay gloriously dead, killed in the way only politicians could destroy something. They had the tobacco companies reeling. Then again, the tobacco companies had paid the group more money than would ever be known, even after the final victory. They had dug, and cajoled, and persuaded, and of course they also had allies who were elected. But it would be back. If there was inglorious aspect of the american political system, it was the recyclable nature of legislation. Change was as easy to undo as the line item veto or prohibition. Just because the people spoke out of one side of their mouths on Monday did not mean the other end of their lips would not find a voice on Friday. That was the nature of this beast. Angel picked up the cell phone, made a call to a landline switching box, and then another call. Her students were not her only ally- it never paid to depend on one link in any chain. And she wanted to tie this up without interacting with Amanda. It was still early in this piece of work, and the girl was the one she needed to see. She allowed herself to smile at the eagerness of her other contact. Amanda was studying the information she'd gathered so far with wry amusement. There was no question that the twenty interviews she'd done so far were all unique. While there were certain common themes encased in each one, the common thread was that all the girls she'd spoken to enjoyed smoking and when asked if they felt addicted, only two said yes. Ten said that advertising had played a role in their decision to smoke, but Amanda was not convinced that was, in and of itself, a bad thing. Another interesting common theme was the type of cigarettes the girls smoked. As Amanda lit one of her own Marlboro Lights 100s, she looked at the breakdown. Eighteen of the twenty smoked cigarettes of the 100 or 120 variety. Seventeen smoked lights, two smoked mediums and only one smoked what they called full-flavoured cigarettes. Fifteen said that they thought cork filters were a turnoff. Five of the girls were practising lesbians, of those, four had girlfriends who smoked. Only eight of the other fifteen had boyfriends who smoked or felt they would only date boys who smoked. All twenty felt that smoking made them more sexually attractive and half of them had been approached by adults who either thought they were older or were interested in them anyway. One of the girls was dating a college professor- she didn't say who but Amanda got the impression it was someone right here at the university. Only half the girls smoked with their parents permission. The other half expressed varying levels of concern their parents would find out, but none said that would lead to them quitting. None of them thought trying to eliminate teenage smoking was the right approach and most of them favoured either lowering the smoking age or eliminating it entirely. Contrary to public opinion, smoking and drug use didn't seem to be linked. Only four of the girls she'd spoken with had tried pot, and of them only one had experimented with other drugs. Of course, none of the information was set in stone- it was certainly possible that there had been lies told, but they'd all seemed like pretty honest kids. Amanda drew deeply on her cigarette, closed down the Powerbook, and looked at her daughter. She was lying on her stomach, taking in the sun. A cigarette rested in her left hand and she drew on it at random intervals. The style was still well-conceived and Amanda wondered if heredity played a part in that. She reminded her of herself at that age, smoking as she still did now for pure pleasure, looking so comfortable. There had been other changes as well. They had always gotten on fairly well. There had never been the sort of tensions which made family life so complicated. Oh, there were disagreements, arguments, even fights. But over the long term, nothing onerous. Still, as Amanda had hoped and expected, ever since she'd allowed Marianne to start smoking, things had improved. More talking- more honest and open dialogue. So why did Amanda feel uneasy ? Marianne drew deeply on her cigarette, exhaling the smoke in a slow and lazy way so that it surrounded her like a shield of smoke. She lay in it, not knowing how utterly gorgeous she was like that, a woman in the prime of her carefree days, when smoking and reading on a hot summer afternoon was a right rather than a luxury. "What are you thinking about, Mom ?" the girl asked. "What makes you think-" Although she couldn't see the smile, she felt it. "You're always thinking, Mom. That's what's so special about you. You always have something on your mind, don't you ?" "I suppose. I was just marveling at how naturally gorgeous you look, lying there smoking." Amanda's own inhale was stylish, full-bodied, a luxury of time in its own right. "I learned that from you, Mom. You're the one who can turn people on with your smoking." Her exhale was slow, a nose exhale designed to prevent the smoke from her lungs traveling away from her eager nose and mouth. She drank it in a second time, wondering at people who found the activity disgusting. It was marvelous. She blinked in the hot sun and drew on the cigarette again before speaking. "I'll take that as a compliment. But you know who really looks good smoking is Gillian. The first time I saw her was in class and I knew right away that she had to be a smoker." "I know what you mean. Sometimes you can tell just by looking at someone that they smoke. She's got that in a major way. I could watch her smoke all day. You can see that she knows it, too." "Yes, but she's not arrogant about it. She looks good smoking, but you'd never feel as though she was touting it. And she should. If I were her-" "Mom, you're not saying that no one ever watches you smoke, are you ? Because people must-" "I suppose, but I try not to think about it that way." "I bet there are a few professors who would love to be you, interviewing attractive young smokers out on the steps. Hell, just watching them would be a kick for the average guy." "Well, I don't get quite so much out of it, but yeah, I suppose. It's always fun talking to people about why they smoke." Marianne rolled over, exhaling as she did. "Are you getting close to being done ?" Amanda laughed. When it came to research, done was almost never the state you found yourself in. "I need at least ten more teenagers, but I have seven appointments lined up. If you know anyone who'd be interested-" "I can think of two or three offhand, if you haven't already seen them. Can you tell me if you haven't interviewed someone without violating confidentiality." "I suppose." "Carol ?" "I wouldn't call Carol." "Brenda Longfellow ?" "Brenda smokes ?" Amanda said, surprised. "Yeah. Brenda was the first one of us to start." "Brenda ? Her mother's a doctor !" Marianne laughed at that. "It's one of the best kept secrets in the Falls that Dr. Longfellow smokes. I don't think half a dozen people know." "How old was Brenda when she started ?" "Her mom wouldn't let her smoke until she turned 13. She's the youngest smoker I know. From what Brenda says, her mother goes to Janson Mills to buy cigarettes and only smokes at home. But she's really into it." "I just think that's so hard to believe." "Why, because she's a medical doctor ?" Marianne drew on her cigarette, thought about it. Did being a doctor mean that you were supposed to be anti-smoking ? Basically, it did. There was no way around that. If you were a doctor, smoking was on your bad thing list in a big way. And yet.... "I'm intrigued. Do you think that Brenda would sit down and talk with me about it ?" "I can ask her. the worst thing she could do is say no, right ?" "I suppose. Are you two friends ?" That was always such an awkward question. As well as Amanda understood Marianne there were things about her daughter that she did not understand and one of them was just what constituted a friend these days. Marianne had a tendency not to talk about those sorts of things. Amanda felt like she should be cool enough to know even though it was never a topic of conversation. "Casually, yeah. There's a certain solidarity among the smokers, you know ? It's kind of cool." "Yes. I was hoping that you'd discover that along the way. It's one of the most pleasant things about being a smoker." "Can I ask a serious question, Mom ?" Amanda was not always in favour of serious questions. There were times they did more harm than good, or simply could not be properly answered. But Marianne certainly had the right to ask them. "I suppose that we'll be talking more about the concept of you and a car." "No. I was wondering why you never were willing to talk to me about smoking. All those years- you never really talked about it once- never told me why you smoked or even why I shouldn't. Didn't you ever want to talk about it ?" "Of course I wanted to talk about it. But I felt like talking about it would unduly affect your decision, and until I found out that you were smoking, I had no idea how I felt about the idea. It was a question which I couldn't answer for myself. How could I discuss it with you ?" Amanda looked at her cigarette thoughtfully, trimmed it, and then inhaled deeply. "I was a little hurt when I found out that you were talking to other girls about smoking and not me." "I never thought about it that way." "Surprising-" "That I was so thoughtless ?" Amanda asked, trying at once not to be hurt and hoping that she hadn't hurt her daughter. "Well, yeah. I mean, here you are talking to Carol, but not to me. That's disheartening in a way." Amanda drew deep on her cigarette, enjoying the way the tip hissed. "I knew she was smoking, that she was a smoker-" "Ouch. You've got a point there, don't you ?" "It's probably best if we don't fight about something we've been so fabulously agreeing on, no ?" Marianne quickly agreed, and all was well again. |
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