Twist, Part 2

Twist
Part 2 of 2
an4@anon.lelnet.com

Kim exhaled and the resemblance to a younger self was almost painful, it was 
so strong.
    'Well, she just put down her book, took a conservative sort of drag on 
her cigarette, and looked at me. '˜So, young lady'- she only called me young 
lady when I had done something questionable- '˜So, young lady, how long have 
you been smoking ?' I just went kind of pale and she smiled. '˜Come over her, 
sit down, and tell me all about it.' I did as I was told. I went and sat down 
on the far end of the couch, feeling very small and very worried. I was so 
sure that my smoking days were over and the thought was so goddamned 
depressing.'
    'That's what I worry about-'
    Freya exhaled and thought about whether or not to say what she was 
thinking. She knew what she was doing wasn't exactly right, but she was into 
too far.
    'I don't think that's what would have happened to me- or what will 
happen to you- there are a lot of hours in every teenager's day that are 
unsupervised. But it wasn't what happened to me anyway. I sat down all meek 
and worried and my mother could see that I was panicking.'
    'She told you to light a cigarette, didn't she ?'
    'How did you know that ?'
    'Well, it was just a guess, but-'
    'That's exactly what happened. She said '˜Honey, I want to see you smoke 
so I know what you're doing.' And I understood what she meant. I lit that 
cigarette and it was probably the most nervous I had been since the first 
time. She didn't say anything. She just sat there, smoking herself and 
watching me smoke and I could see on her face- I got more relaxed and more 
bold after a couple of good drags. Finally she did speak. '˜Well, at least you 
enjoy it. But I'm disappointed that you didn't think you could tell me. My 
feelings are hurt.''
    'Was that your punishment ?' Kim asked seriously, operating on intuition.
    'It may not sound like much, but it really stung me that I had hurt her 
feelings, you know. We talked about that and that was part of my punishment, 
believe it or not, and we talked about what we were going to do about my 
decision to smoke and then she handed out my other punishment- one month of 
doing all the housecleaning.'
    'Did she tell you that you couldn't smoke ?'
    'No. The punishment was for being dishonest. I mean, I think she was 
maybe a little disappointed in herself that she and Dad hadn't been able to 
prevent that, but neither of them ever suggested that I shouldn't smoke.'
    'Is this your way of telling me I should talk to my parents about my 
smoking ?'
    Freya laughed. 'God no. Well, maybe. You have to do what you think is 
best, but it's better to be honest than to get caught. It took a long time 
before I felt like I had regained my parents' trust. That may sound stupid, 
but-'
    Kim tapped ash into the wind, drew on her cigarette, exhaled through her 
nose.
    'It doesn't. My parents and I have always had a very honest 
relationship. I don't mean to brag, but I'm a good kid. I haven't been 
punished in- well, I don't remember the last time they had to punish me. I 
don't want to go there. But it's funny. I've never considered seriously 
telling them. Instead, I always dream about- like going away to college. I 
envy you adult smokers. You can get up in the morning, put on a pot of coffee 
and light up. You can walk into your house after a long day and sit down on 
the couch and smoke and relax. I can't. I have to rush upstairs and go into 
the bathroom and wash off and brush my teeth and I kind of live in perpetual 
fear that some day it won't be enough, that I'll get caught.'
    'Then maybe you should be honest with your parents. Their reaction might 
not be as negative as you think. Do your parents ever talk to you about 
smoking ?'
    'No. They don't ever mention it. They smoke and they don't ask me about 
it. They seemed really concerned about the drinking thing though. They've 
started letting me have wine with dinner and once in a while on the weekends 
Dad will offer me a beer- like they want me to get used to it. But smoking 
never comes up.'
    'They probably,' Freya said, noticing with some disappointment that her 
cigarette was half gone, 'are as afraid of the subject as you are. As smokers 
themselves, they know the precarious position they're in talking to you about 
it.'
    Exhaling, Kim smiled. 'I'm going to tell them I smoke as soon as I get 
home. Well, Mom anyway. Dad will be working late.'
    Freya looked at her student and was caught between a smile and a frown.     
'I'm going to feel really bad if they don't react the way that my parents 
did.'
    'Hey, it's just like smoking, Ms. Orloff. It's my decision and my 
consequences.'
    They finished their cigarettes and went back inside and Freya secretly 
worried that she'd given her student bad advice just because of the way that 
she reminded her of herself. But there was nothing she could do about it.

    Kim walked into the house. She hadn't washed up at school, in fact, 
she'd accepted a ride home from Freya and she's smoked one cigarette in the 
car. She'd watched Freya driving while she was smoking and it was so fucking 
cool. She'd been wanting a car for the being able to get around aspect of it, 
but now, the thought of being able to smoke and drive-
    'Give your mother an hug, sweetie.'
    That was Mom. Happiness was an hug. She hugged her tightly, and Kim got 
the strangest sensation her mother was smelling her hair.
    'Mom, I have something I want to talk about. Can we sit down ?'
    'Is everything okay ?' she asked, honest concern in her voice.
    'Yeah, Mom. I just- well, sit down and-'
    'Let me just get a cigarette.'
    Her Mom went off to the kitchen and came back holding a lit cigarette in 
one hand and the pack and lighter in the other.
    'What's up ?' she asked as they sat down.
    'Mom,' Kim paused, reached into her purse and took out her cigarettes 
and her lighter.
    'Mom, I'm a smoker.'
    Jill smiled. 'I know, honey.'
    'You knew ?' Kim asked.
    'Honey, you smell like an ashtray. You've been smoking for at least a 
month- which means you've probably been smoking twice that long. Dad and I 
have talked about it.'
    'That's it. You knew and Dad knows and you didn't say anything ?'
    Jill drew on her cigarette and smiled again. Her nose exhale was just 
like Ms. Orloff's.
    'Well, we thought about it and we knew that at some point, it was going 
to come to an head. After all, once school let out, well, what were you going 
to do ? We decided to wait until the end of June and then, well, if you 
didn't think you could be honest with us about it, we were thinking that we 
weren't going to let you smoke.'
    'What do you mean ?'
    Jill tapped ash into the ashtray on the coffee table and sat back, 
relaxing, smoking and letting her daughter twist in the wind a little bit. 
When her nervousness finally got to the point where Kim had unconsciously 
cracked back the top of the box, as if she was thinking about smoking 
subconsciously, Jill spoke again.
    'I mean, if it had come to a point where we had to confront you about 
your smoking we weren't going to let you smoke. I don't really know how much 
that would have stopped you from smoking but I'm sure that it would have at 
least made it somewhat inconvenient for you.'
    'Do you mean that you and Dad are going to let me smoke ?'
    'Well, I want you to understand a few things young lady, but why don't 
you light one of those cigarettes first ? Before I say anything else there is 
something that have to see for myself. My nose may have told me you were 
smoking, but I need to watch to understand just what it means.'
Kim was hesitant. She didn't quite know what to think her mother was doing.
    'What it- what what means, Mom ?'
    'Well, I want to explain this decision to you but first I want to see you 
smoke so that I know exactly what it means to you.'
    'Does it make a difference ?'
'Of course, it makes a difference. Your father and I aren't going to give 
you a green light to be- what do you call it- a poser ? A player hater ?'
    Rather than correct her mother, she lit her cigarette and showed her 
mother just how it was that she did smoke her cigarettes. Suddenly, Freya's 
story came back to her and she understood what mom was doing perfectly. Kim 
and her mother did nothing else for perhaps two full minutes, long enough 
that her mother finished her cigarette and lit another.
    Finally, Jill had seen enough.
    'Kim, it's like this. You need to understand why we're not deciding to 
let you smoke-' she held up her hand before Kim could correctly the seeming 
contradiction- 'and why we are letting you smoke. We're not letting you smo
ke because we don't think that we can't stop you- that's an issue we 
don't really want to go into- not me, not Dad, not you. We're also not 
letting you smoke because we smoke. That's not the right reason to allow it 
any more than our not smoking would be a reason to say no to you.'
    Kim trimmed the ash from her cigarette, inhaled, and then exhaled.
    'What are good reasons to let me smoke ?'
    'Well, we trust your judgement, we think you are capable of making an 
informed decision, and you came to us- to me anyway- and were honest about 
the fact that you have decided to smoke. That was the big thing. You could 
have been looking at Dad and I refusing to condone your smoking until you 
were eighteen. But tell me one thing ? You smelled like smoke when you came 
in- really strongly. I thought you were studying with your English teacher. 
In fact, isn't that who dropped you off ?'
    'Yes it is.'
    'Ms. Orloff, right ?'
    'Yeah.'
    Kim pulled nervously on her cigarette. She didn't want to get Ms. Orloff 
in any trouble and regardless of her mother's seeming easy acceptance of her 
smoking, she wasn't sure how she would react to her smoking with her teacher.
    'I was the only one who showed up for the study session. I asked Ms. 
Orloff if I could take a smoke break, about halfway through.'
    'Did she join you ?' Jill asked neutrally.
    'Mom !' Kim said, as though the idea was preposterous.
    'Well, she does smoke, honey. I've seen her. If it was just you and her, 
I would kind of expect her to.'
    'Yes, she and I smoked, and we talked about when she first started 
smoking and-'
    Kim hesitated again, not wanting to take the shine off the fact her 
mother was glad she'd been honest with her, but she thought she might do well 
to keep that honesty up.
    'She helped me realise that the best thing to do was to talk to you- to 
let you know I was smoking.'
'She told you that you should tell me ?' Jill asked, intrigued.
    'Not exactly. She just told me how it went with her and when I listened 
to what she had to say- I mean, that was message that I got from listening to 
her story, and I made a decision to follow through on that-'
    'Interesting.' Jill slid down the couch and gave her daughter an 
unexpected hug. 'Remind me to thank her the next time I see her.'
    Kim was thinking the same thing.

    Freya slid into the booth opposite Rebecca, who smiled at her while 
tapping her watch face with her pinky. Between her first two fingers was a 
just lit Salem Lights 100.
    'You're late. Study session run over ?'
    'I had to give one of my students a ride,' Freya said, pouring herself a 
beer from an half-empty pitcher.
    'Must have been Kim, right ?'
    'How'd you know that ?' Freya asked, pulling her cigarettes from her 
purse and lighting one as she scanned the bar. Becky was doing the same and 
didn't answer until their eyes met. 
    'It could be that I'm psychic.' Freya frowned at this. 'Or, it could be 
that I stuck my head in your room to ask you if you were going to need a few 
extra minutes after the study session, at around three o'clock, but the two 
of your were arguing-'
    Freya held up her hand.
    Becky exhaled voluminously. 'Sorry, discussing, whether the true value of 
local colour is lexigraphic or literary, right ?'
    'That's close enough,' Freya lied, not wanting to veer too deeply into 
shop talk. 
    'Anyway, I didn't want to interrupt. Hey, I bet the two of you took a 
little break halfway through, went out the old church doors and smoked like a 
couple of schoolgirls.'
    'What is that supposed to mean ?' Freya asked, and then angrily trimmed 
her cigarette and jammed it between her lips. She pulled hard on it and then 
withdrew it from her mouth sharply, following that with a big exhale.
    'Don't smoke angry, Freya. I've told you that turns me on.'
    'What are you saying ?'
    'Oh come on. That girl IS you at sixteen. Everybody knows it. Hell, 
half-blind Mr. Kennedy talks about it in the break room. There's this crazy 
rumour floating around the faculty that you're somehow her long lost older 
sister. Very Dickens. Lots of rubbish, too, I'm sure, but, well, people are 
wondering if you can be fair, grading your underage clone.'
    Freya's temper leapt to the forefront and before she knew what she was 
doing, she had said- rather loudly- 'At least I'm not a cocktease !'
    All Becky did was pull on her cigarette. She held the smoke for a long 
time before exhaling, and when she did, she smiled.
    'The only reason I'm a cocktease is because I know I have the perfect 
alibi. But I'm not sure I'd want Kim visiting ME after school. Look, that's 
enough shop talk. See the guy over there in the corner ?'
    'The one with the long blonde hair ?' Freya asked.doggett
    'Yeah. And just about to sit down is that woman with the long red hair ?'
    'Which one ? There's two.'
    'The one with the cigarette in her left hand. There. She just sat down.'
    Kim looked back at her friend. 'You think they're pulling a Will and 
Grace in reverse ?'
    'She winked at me just before you came in, and when you sat down with me, 
he started looking over our way and she stopped. Yeah.'
    'Let's buy them drinks and find out,' Freya said. She finished her beer, 
then her cigarette, and replenished both. She was thinking about what drinks 
to send them, or at least she thought she was. But when the waitress she'd 
signalled did come over, she looked at Rebecca instead. 'You really think 
there's anything odd about Kim and I ?'
    Rebecca rolled her eyes and gave the drink order. Once the waitress was 
gone, she took one long last drag on her cigarette, stubbed it out, and 
smiled.
    'Girlfriend, right now, I want to extend our double dating streak, which 
currently stands at what- eight ?'
    'Nine,' Freya corrected, somewhat dryly.
    'Well, let's make it ten. We don't have time to get into double figures 
and talk about you and your clone. Another time.'
    Soon the drinks were delivered, shortly after that two people, one 
ashtray and one pitcher of beer became four people, two ashtrays and two 
pitchers of beer. And Freya managed to keep her question locked up in the 
back of her mind, where it belonged.
    At least for the rest of the night.

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